There To Serve

knowing Him and being known by Him

2009-12-31T14:42:00.002+02:00

Maybe it is less important for me to try to know Him and figure Him out, but to walk before Him and make sure that He knows me?

False Gospel and false prophecies

2009-11-12T13:59:00.003+02:00

harvest time to separate the wheat from the tares and for the latter to be burned.

"Prince of Egypt" & healing through judgement

2009-11-12T13:54:00.002+02:00

important lessons for the Kingdom of G-d and the understanding of His heart and actions.

But how to relate?

2009-11-10T23:46:00.002+02:00

The relationship would have to be rebuilt, as there is no foundation for trust left. But she is wanting to escape again, it seems, this time through death.

And only now, when looking forward to die, she had the courage to meet me, trying to fix her bad conscience. It hurts, again.

What weight is there to her words, if it is not backed by actions? Is there love without courage? Doesn't love drive out fear?

not a dream this time

2009-11-09T22:22:00.004+02:00

Reconciliation after 9 years!!! So good to talk. And according to her, it couldn't have happened earlier.

9th of November, a remarkable day. And I still feel I'm dreaming, but this time it's real.

Psalm 27 - with a new dimension of personal meaning:

[[[A Psalm] of David.]] The LORD [is] my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD [is] the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked, [even] mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this [will] I [be] confident.
One [thing] have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.
For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
Hear, O LORD, [when] I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
[When thou saidst], Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
Hide not thy face [far] from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
[I had fainted], unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

2009-11-08T17:41:00.002+02:00

"Thou therefore gird up thy loins, and arise, and speak unto them all that I command thee: be not dismayed at their faces, lest I confound thee before them.
For, behold, I have made thee this day a defenced city, and an iron pillar, and brasen walls against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, against the princes thereof, against the priests thereof, and against the people of the land.
And they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I [am] with thee, saith the LORD, to deliver thee. " (Jeremia 1: 17-19)

LORD, may you give me Your Word to speak and the courage to stand, not to be dismayed and to speak. May you give me Your strength, and joy, trust and faith. May you make my mind and body work and my senses respond when it is needed.

2009-11-07T22:30:00.003+02:00

Trust in Him for who He is, child-like, dependent and not understanding a lot of things, but knowing that He will make sure that I understand what I need to understand, in time.

Abba!

Faith that He will be who He is and help me to be whom He created me to be.

connection between heart, theology and truth

2009-11-06T11:23:00.004+02:00

In order to follow the Truth, heart and mind need to submit and be ready to be changed and formed by the truth. Heart and mind are not the "Head", but only important parts of the body. Yeshua, the Truth in person, is the Head. Trust and surrender, without rebellion, to be truely teachable by Him.

cosmetics

2009-11-06T10:57:00.005+02:00

practical application of our body being a temple:

for regular hair, skin and body care:
milk, honey, cucumbers, olive oil, rosemarin tea, eggs, mayonaise, lemon juice, avocado, banana, alovera, camomille, lavender oil,

...
more to come

recipies

2009-11-06T10:31:00.003+02:00

Challah (חלבי)

0.25 oz yeast
1/2 c warm water (45*C) => proof yeast
1 c hot milk
1/4 c white sugar => combine & cool to 45*C
1/4 c butter
1 tsp salt
2 1/2 eggs => beat & add to other liquids
5 1/2 c flour
1/2 egg
sesame seeds

=> combine liquid & yeast, add 1/c flour and beat until smooth, sift in remaining flour, knead 10 min, place in greased bowl, turn, cover & rise 45min -1h. Punch down, re-cover.
Let rise 30 min+. Punch down, braid, cover and rise until double. Brush loaves w/remaining egg, bake 30-45 min @ 175*C.

Challah (פרווה)

2 c water
1/2 c oil
7 c flour + 1/2-3/4 c extra
1/4 c white sugar
1/4 c brown sugar
0.75 oz pkgs yeast
1 TB salt
4 eggs
1 egg
sesame seeds

Hearing His voice

2009-11-05T13:06:00.004+02:00

A season of correction in my personal relationship with the Lord. Uprooting rebellion, letting pain and confusion expand my heart and mind, excepting it trusting while continuing to learn from Him and walk with Him. Grace needed.

switch of outward identity & inner healing

2009-11-05T12:52:00.003+02:00

learning to be a woman and how to balance taking care of myself and showing beauty with modesty.

dealing with harmful responses

2009-07-28T20:03:00.003+03:00

When fear creeps in, when the body starts to feel uncomfortable - this feeling upon opening the response to a bold email, expecting to get attacked, accused, belittled, humbled, degrated and criticized, blamed and rejected - all of these harmful and ungodly responses should deserve a standard answer informing the sender about acceptable ways to express disagreement, question the content and offer constructive criticism.

new exercise

2009-07-10T19:10:00.003+03:00

walking with the cross towards the cruxifiction hill, in full faith and trust and anticipation of life.

Not overcome by grief, not giving up on the way, not complaining nor bitter, not depressed and dismayed, but in the full knowledge of the reason of hope.

The Father's love resurrected Yeshua. Yeshua knew the Father's heart.

Focus on the Kingdom of G-d

2009-03-02T11:17:00.003+02:00

The main message Yeshua preached wasn't salvation, but the Kingdom of G-d.

That is also what He sent the disciples to announce wherever they went, and He gave them authority to heal the sick, drive out the demons, raise the dead, etc., because that is what happens when the Kingdom of G-d arrives. The healings are evidence of the new Kingdom reality.

And we are called to enter it!

I need this reminder from time to time...

Thoughts for Prayer - Israeli politics/ political choices

2009-02-11T12:43:00.002+02:00

Three very fundamental points for repentance on behalf of the nation and individuals of the nation stick out to me:

- Repentance for being self-centered instead of G-d-centered

If we were G-d-centered as a nation, our first response in times of troubles or of making decisions would be prayer. Now, there are many religious people living here, which do open their prayer books and pray and expect miracles, but a G-d-centered nation would expect prayer to be 2-way communication in which the well tested prophetic voices are part of the decision making process.

- Repentance for unbelief and lack of knowledge

Trying to reach our goals in our ways led to a lot of harm. Even actions in self-defense are usually quite different from actions in the Spirit of Yeshua. It is all about Him, not about us. Therefor, believing Him and getting to know Him and His ways better and better is an essential pre-requisit for doing what is right.

- Repentance for hatred and lack of care and love towards Arabs, and especially towards Gazans

Finally, it might be necessary to take initiatives in order to stop and prevent evil, but when we enter the discussion of right and wrong and justified and unjustified, we have to constantly remind ourselves that we all are wrong and unjustified except through Him, Yeshua, and that any hatred for the lost is out of place, that we are commanded to love our enemies and that any necessary means of restraint of evil and discipline have to be motivated by care and love for them, the enemies. Our own fears, hurts and anxieties we have to give to the Lord and let Him take care of us. We can not act in response to them with our fears, hurts and anxieties serving as fuel for our actions, except if the action is turning to the Lord!

Thoughts for political leads

If we are in the Land because we truely love the land - not a selfish love - but a love that wants to see the land restored, not for ourselfs, but for G-d's purposes, let's not fight about to whom it belongs, but what we can do, together, to heal the land. The water crises breakes the land, let's see how we can develope the desert to make it bloom!

G-d commands His blessings where brothers dwell together in unity (Hineh ma tov u'ma nayim...) I believe we need to seriously take the lead and face our internal problems of disunity, rejection of one another or of groups within, of blame, of corruption and dishonesty, of selfishness ... and challenge one another regarding our beliefs and life-philosophy-systems, whether they are coherent and true and leading to G-d or not and engage together on an honest quest for truth and for the presence of G-d in our midst as a nation.

Father - Son - Spirit

2009-02-05T22:02:00.004+02:00

An ancient way of describing the relation:

"A cup of milk was offered to me, and I drank it in the sweetness of the Lord's kindness."

"The Son is the cup, and the Father is He who was milked; and the Holy Spirit is She who milked Him."

(Odes of Salomon 19.1-2)

Spiritual world

2009-01-27T11:06:00.002+02:00

questions: the spiritual world - dreams, "intuitions", assumption of physical manifestations of spiritual realities - Abba, I need true, verifyable understanding and insights in order to do your works and exercise the authority that is contained in your name. The coming of Your kingdom is to dispell the darkness of this world. Your light I want to see!

gleanings from the day

2009-01-26T23:18:00.001+02:00

A long day on which I made a number of mistakes.

First of all, another level of patience needs to be gained, and of more thorough and careful work and detailed and forseeing attention.

Breaking heaviness by childlike joy and trust and recreation in the Lord's presence.

Serving for His sake only, quietly and hidden, not talking about it or letting it be apparent to others, not for my sake, and no tolerance of mixed motives, but for the sake of the one in need.

And again - balance, order, continued growth and good stewardship

2009-01-25T22:49:00.004+02:00

Getting back to a disciplined and well-ordered life.

The loneliness of a forerunner and the distance to those following is a reason to stop from time to time. What's the purpose to continue running ahead? Time to connect and help others, time to take care of the body of believers, of the weak and downtrodden, time to share and encourage and to carry burdens of others to enable them to continue on.

Yes, our love is for the Lord, but His love, for which He gave his life, is for this world and for mankind. When there is no going deeper in dedication and longing for Him, just following His footsteps in love and dedication for what He loves leads us into deeper fellowship with him. Continuing on day by day to do His commandments and to trust Him may produce at the end a fragrant offering to Him.

And still, growing in knowledge and understanding of the scriptures enhances a treasure of which the whole body can profit, at all times. Growing in knowledge and understanding of the proper operation of the gifts of the Spirit helps to prevent harm and to open doors for their healthy use to empower the body to be victorious. Exercising and developing skills to be able to master tasks well, even if few people seem to care about it, is a matter of good stewardship and faithful service to the Lord.

Times for study
Times for prayer & intercession
Times to exercise and develop skills
Times to build and establish relationships, to help and support those in distress

The reality of Yeshua

2009-01-25T22:06:00.002+02:00

Getting to know Yeshua by the lifes of His disciples: What if the self-acclaimed disciples fail to display His character and do His deeds? When salt looses its saltiness?

Even though we might not have an example of Yeshua's life in our time and our surroundings to look up to, I think we can still try to just live according to His commandments preserved in the scriptures and by that provide some kind of example of Yeshua's character to others. I also see that we understand what is told about Him and preserved of Him better while trying to do His commandments, because this very doing leads on His path and we recognize some of His footsteps.

Thanks for letting me hit the bottom!

2009-01-12T16:39:00.002+02:00

Hitting the bottom of experiential horror is a good experience. After having faced the fears new hope and insights can arise.

What difference it makes when getting a glimpse of the possible result and new tool at hand after having overcome!
Having hit the bottom doesn't mean having overcome yet, but it releases the focus from the bottom to strategies for overcoming and frees strength to take the first steps towards it.

Thank G-d for His provision and protection at the very difficult day of yesterday!

No coffee for me

2009-01-12T16:19:00.002+02:00

Another mistake that shouldn't be repeated: Coffee and other strong substances disturb the spiritual/intuitive senses, cause added tension and confuse the natural equilibrium of the body, thus leading to mistakes, hasty actions, confused judgement and resulting fears...

Having to remember to be strong and say No even when it is hard to refuse the offer, because the price is too high, in most cases.

living the last day

2009-01-11T13:22:00.004+02:00

Why not living every day as the last one.

Something worthwile to do?

Tomorrow doesn't exist. No, this is the last one.

Someone I can love, someone to whom I can be a blessing?

Jewish Identity in Messianic Context

2008-07-20T21:19:00.002+03:00

For the Messianic Jewish community, as well as for the broader Jewish world, I think it is time to come to a definition of the Jewish identity and what it means to be Jewish.

Obviously we can't use the historical definition of being a descendant of the Jewish people - or adopted into it - and not believing in Yeshua.

Is there a distiction to be made between Jewish believers and followers of Yeshua and non-Jewish ones?
One of the definitions of messianic Judaism being offered at Youtube holds that Messianic Jews are Jews and Gentiles united by the Messiah Yeshua, which refrain from certain "Christian" traditions, and keep certain other Jewish ordinances. This sounds like an attempt to reform and correct the Church, creating a new, more biblical-correct movement within the Church.

The common-use definition of Messianic Jews here is Israel means believers and followers of Yeshua within an Israeli Jewish context, whereas non-Jewish (mainly according to their own self-definition) members of the community just call themselfs messianics.

The original realization standing at the birth of the messianic Jewish movement is G-d's faithfulness regarding the promises given to the Jewish people and the irrevocability of the calling. Replacement theology is found faulty. Being a Jew is not a curse that needs to be washed off at baptism together with all the sins, but it is a responsability, which remains, just as a parent retains the responsabilities of a parent after baptism, - surely not without relying on G-d's help, guidance and direction in order to fulfill these responsabilities.

I would want to try to state these special responsabilities of the Jewish people, which are incumbant upon all Jews born as such and upon those that join the Jewish people and are adopted into it.

One might think of the "obvious" answer to the responsabilities: the 613 Mitzvoth. But this is not a very applicable answer to the question. They might supply a theoretical framework of action, but the reliability of the rabbinical translation into halacha is a matter of dispute for messianics. The reasons are manyfold:

-disagreement about the adaptation to the new reality: on one side to the absence of the temple and living in exile, on the other side to the time after the coming of Yeshua and the multitude of gentile believers in Him.

-mistrust towards the rabbinic judgements, their intentions and the spirit guiding them.

-the dichotomy of the Letter and the Spirit might require rather an understanding of the heart of the Mitzvah, its intention and normal practical application, leaving the specific details for each instance up to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, instead of arguing about specific applications based on the Letter in a kind of legal debate.

With this last point in mind, one might also in regard of the responsabilities rather look to describe them in terms that touch the heart of the calling of the Jewish people. The framework of the 613 Mitzvoth are just the instructions given by divine wisdom in order to live out this calling to G-d's honor. They reflect G-d's love and character and are a way which He chose to bless.

... to be continued. Comments welcome!

Jews for Jesus - Gotta love them

2008-07-16T00:07:00.000+03:00

Stan Meyer's testimony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux1AiYby8As&feature=related

Arab leads Jews in worship - Amazing

2008-07-15T23:59:00.002+03:00

Shmuel Aveida - Congregation Beit Immanuel Haifa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK6NtWYwbZM&feature=related

Messianic Jews worshipping Yeshua

2008-07-15T21:23:00.002+03:00

Featuring Yad HaShmona and Shemen Sasson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sEBAldf4L0&feature=related

Gabriels Vision

2008-07-15T21:20:00.002+03:00

09 ביולי, 2008
חזון גבריאל: חוקר מהאוניברסיטה פִּענח את הכתובת המצביעה על תחייתו של מנהיג משיחי
החוקר, פרופ' ישראל קנוהל מהחוג למקרא טוען כי גילוי זה יגרום להערכה מחודשת של התפתחות המשיחיות היהודית והנוצרית במקביל

פרופ' קנוהל בוחן את לוח האבן. מאחוריו עומדים ד''ר דוד יסלזון, בעל הלוח, ואשתו ימימה. (צילום: יסלזון)

פרופ' ישראל קנוהל המופקד על הקתדרה למקרא ע''ש יחזקאל קויפמן באוניברסיטה העברית, הציג באחרונה פרשנות
חדשה ומפתיעה לכתובת האבן שזכתה לכינוי ''חזון גבריאל''. על פי פרשנותו של פרופ' קנוהל, המילה ''חאיה'' המופיעה על לוח האבן מציינת צורה עתיקה לציווי ''חיה!'' ומצביעה כל כך שהמלאך גבריאל הקים לתחייה מנהיג משיחי בשם ''שר השרין'', שלושה ימים לאחר מותו. ''חזון גבריאל'' הוא טקסט כתוב על אבן מהמאה הראשונה לפני הספירה שנתגלתה בעבר הירדן, ומתאר חזון אפוקליפטי שמוסר המלאך גבריאל. על פי המסופר בחזון, מלך רשע יצליח להשחית רבים מבני ישראל ולהרוג את מנהיג העם, שר השרין, ולאחר שלושה ימים יקום לתחייה בידי המלאך גבריאל. פרופ' קנוהל מציע לשחזר את השורה הקטועה בכתובת האבן ''לשלושת ימין חאיה אני גבריאל גו.. עלי.'' באופן הבא - ''לשלושת ימין חאיה, אני גבריאל, גוזר עליך''. לדעת פרופ' קנוהל משורה זאת משתמע כי גבריאל פונה אל דמות כלשהי וגוזר ומצווה עליה לקום אחר שלושה ימים. כעת נשאלת השאלה אל מי פנה גבריאל וציווה לקום לתחייה? לטענתו התשובה לשאלה זו מופיעה בשורה הבאה שם מופיעות המלים ''שר השרין''. ''שר השרין'' הוא אפוא זה שנצטווה על ידי גבריאל לקום לתחייה. ''שר השרין'' הוא מנהיגו של עם ישראל והוא יקום לתחייה לאחר שלושה ימים בידי המלאך גבריאל. ''ניתן לקבוע כי בתקופה שבה חובר החזון, בסוף המאה הראשונה לפני הספירה, סמוך לזמן לידתו של ישו הנוצרי, רווחה בקרב חוגים מסוימים ההשקפה שעל פיה מותו של המשיח ותחייתו לאחר שלושה ימים, הוא חלק בלתי נפרד מתהליך הגאולה'' אומר פרופ' קנוהל. ''לכן, אם הייתה מסורת יהודית של משיח שקם לתחייה, אפשר להבין את ישו כמשיח יהודי לאומי שהולך לקראת מותו מתוך אמונה שהדם השפוך שלו יגרום לאל להביא גאולה לעם ישראל. תגלית זו צריכה להביא להערכה מחודשת של התפתחות המשיחיות היהודית והנוצרית במקביל.'' את הפרשנות החדשה לטקסט הציג השבוע פרופ' קנוהל בכנס משותף של מוזיאון ישראל ומרכז אוריון באוניברסיטה העברית לרגל מלאת שישים שנה למציאתן של מגילות מדבר יהודה. מאמר הדן בפרשנותו של פרופסור קנוהל לתגלית התפרסם השבוע בעמוד הראשון של הניו-יורק טיימס ומעורר התרגשות רבה בעולם הנוצרי.
הורדת קובץ knohl.doc

at home within myself

2008-07-06T12:37:00.004+03:00

Searching to be at home within myself, in G-ds presence.

Returning to take my space within myself, with every cell responsive to G-d's presence and letting Him fully dwell within me, in mind, heart, spirit, body, everything. Being at home, at my eternal home.

Yeshua went home to the Father after the separation experienced because of our sins.

The Kingdom of G-d is near, right among us, and we know the way to the Father, don't we?

Testimonies of Hindus finding Yeshua

2008-06-25T20:44:00.005+03:00

Shekhar, Testimony of Ex-Hindu Brahmin, Journey to Christ !

Hindu Brahmin Accepts Christ, From Hinduism to Christ -P1
Hindu Brahmin Accepts Christ, From Hinduism to Christ -P2

Former Hindu Brahmin's Journey from Hinduism to Christ !

HanumanGuru, A Hindu's Journey from Hinduism to Christ-(1/2)
HanumanGuru, A Hindu's Journey from Hinduism to Christ-(2/2)

Learning to be strong in face to face meetings

2008-06-24T20:05:00.001+03:00

How to pray about a problematic statement, which is surprising, hurting and upsetting in order to respond properly?

=> Immediately expressing the surpise, hurt, being upset and continue the conversation from there.

=> Asking for time if necessary and for a continuation of the meeting after a time of prayer and discernment.

Wanting to say "Thank You" for an awesome time

2008-06-23T00:05:00.003+03:00

Testimony:
-fear is opposed to freedom
-the truth will set us free
-perfect love casts out all fear

In the time between the last post and now G-d made me face my fears and overcome them.
The result is freedom.

There is not yet a full release. The time has not yet come. But the way is marked out.

Freedom Reigns

2008-04-23T02:50:00.001+03:00

learning to play the song by Michael Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pFn1nX-Jg4&feature=related

hymns

2008-04-22T21:30:00.001+03:00

http://www.cyberhymnal.org/

links to precious articles

2008-04-15T00:05:00.004+03:00

http://www.conservapedia.com/Eucharist
http://www.conservapedia.com/Aramaic_Church
http://www.conservapedia.com/Midrash
http://www.conservapedia.com/Targum
http://www.conservapedia.com/Aramaic
http://www.conservapedia.com/Hebrew
http://www.conservapedia.com/Christianity => the meaning of the resurrection for Christians

If anyone desires to come after me ...

2008-04-11T02:13:00.002+03:00

Lk 9,23: "Then He said to them all, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.'"

What does the expression 'to take up ones cross' mean? Yeshua carried His cross to the cruxifiction side, but I have the feeling that the associative field of this expression is much wider. Is this a Hebrew or Aramaic expression whose background can be researched? Is there a connection to the yoke as in the saying of Yeshua: come and learn from me, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light? Can the yoke of the torah be called a cross? Isn't this the cross Yeshua carried to His own cruxifiction?

'Let him deny himself' as Yochanan says: He must increase, but I must decrease; I'm not the one that is to come, the Messiah, but He. But it seems to me that the denial of oneself goes further, maybe as Paul says: But now not I live, but He lives in me. A denial of everything, which elevates the self, me instead of Him. A denial of every thought, will, desire and act, which elevates itself against the perfect will of G-d in His holyness, majesty, authorship and loving fatherhood. A denial of the pursuit of worldly gain and success as opposed to the building of the kingdom of G-d.

'Follow me' - 'Satan, go behind me' Yeshua says to Kephas at one point. We can not go ahead of Him and try to tell Him how to do it better and prevent Him from doing what He has to do. We can intercede and ask for mercy, we can plead, we can ask questions, if we don't understand. But no one can go ahead of Him. Even Jochanan, who came to prepare the way said to the people: He who comes after me is far greater than I, for He was before me. When Yeshua came, Yochanan just pointed to Him saying: This is He.

'Follow me' also means not to stay behind or go into the opposite direction, but to follow Him, who Himself is the way, the way to the Father, the only one. For the first disciples of Yeshua it meant to come with Him to where He goes leaving everything else behind, listen to Him, learn from Him, share life with Him and do what He says.

studying as part of a community

2008-04-10T23:07:00.001+03:00

http://www.christian-thinktank.com/

Regular intercessory prayer

2008-04-04T15:06:00.007+03:00

- Thanksgiving -

For those in authority:

fear of G-d
determination to walk in righteousness
being cut off from ung-dly alliances and influences
revelation of G-d's character
g-dly advisors

For those I am in contact with:

conviction of sins
repentance
awe of G-d, fear and love towards Him
encouragement to walk in G-d's ways
healing, wellbeing, hope and joy

For the lost:

longing and desire for true life
the living Word of G-d reaching the heart, piercing the soul, penetrating the mind and satisfying the spirit

For my brothers and sisters:

growing into the likeness of our Lord
grace to forgive and overcome
being full of the Spirit of G-d
fervent love
revelation and understanding of G-d's ways

- Thanksgiving -

The Sin of A Prayerless Life

2008-04-04T06:05:00.004+03:00

Prayer for the authorities
Prayer for those I am in contact with
Prayer for the lost
Prayer for my brothers and sisters

Proclaiming and keeping up G-d's standards
Standing in the gap
Being mindfull of promises and prophecies
Going into battle on behalf of people, communities, cities and nations

Personal Prayer

2008-03-24T23:43:00.005+02:00

Prayer, an expression from the heart

Prayer, an integral part of daily routine

Prayer, calling the hotline to heaven

Prayer, a spiritual discipline

Prayer, cultivating a relationship

Prayer, a business meeting with the Boss

Prayer, transforming our vision, heart and character into the Lord's image

Morning Prayer:

Making sure the attitude of the heart and the priorities for the day are set right (giving thanks, overcoming strongholds, confessing sins and weaknesses, asking for help, praising G-d for who He is, giving Him His due place as Lord over my life)
Placing all the plans and concerns before the Lord
Making an effort to listen to Him and giving Him time to speak to me

Noon Prayer:

Making sure G-d is still the center (stopping everything else, focussing on Him and praising Him)
Remembering the lessons and instructions from the morning
Asking for help, strength, intervention
Praising Him for who He is

Evening Prayer:

confessing sins, failures and mistakes
thanksgiving
placing the concerns and tasks back into G-d's hands
forgiving those that hurt me and trespassed against me
dealing with things that troubled and upset me during the day, or brought me to fall
Praising Him for who He is

remedy for tiredness, boredom and indifference

2008-03-23T09:53:00.002+02:00

Psalm 116, a great psalm to start with when lacking desire to spend time with G-d, read His word, pray and praise Him!

"looking back"

2008-03-20T15:25:00.004+02:00

Lk 9, 61f.: "And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

When we think to look back, what's the problem?

Just like ploughing, following Yeshua needs full focus on the kingdom of G-d and on what is ahead. Saying Good-by to those that stay behind at home in this case is not a step in following Yeshua, but is opposed to it.

Lot's wife looked back and became a pillar of salt. She disregarded the warning of the angels, not to look back.

Was the Israelites' looking back to Egypt the cause of their murmurings?

Does this kind of fatefull looking back contain an element of regret of the choosen way paired with a lack of faith and vision?

If G-d calls, one shouldn't look back. Answering to G-d's call is never a wrong decision! He knows very well from where and to where He is calling us.

To be continued. Contributions and comments welcome!

rest or fight?

2008-03-17T22:27:00.004+02:00

When being sick, calling for prayer of the elders is the biblical way. I wonder about feeling sick or just weak. When to rest, when to force myself to get up and pray and praise G-d until being well and strengthened? It seems that the will and readyness to get up make the decision whether to rest or to get up. When the will is lacking, is that a sign of depression and do I need to call for prayer? Or is it just G-d's will for me to rest until the will to get up, pray, fight and praise returns?

Post to be continued, question in process ... Comments welcome!

on tolerance and support of religious plurality

2008-03-14T16:03:00.005+02:00

Religious tolerance of other gods and supported plurality of objects of worship became King Salomons doom. Does this mean that we also need to be very careful not to tolerate non-orthodox thoughts and beliefs?
The latter are not always a product of rebellion. Rather, they reflect the individual's ability or inability to understand and make sense of experience, revelation and transmitted history. Philosophical and theological skills are needed to understand and apply properly the religious language.

What would have been the correct attitude of King Salomo to the worship of other G-d's of the peoples around? He used the political tool of marriage to make peace with the other nations around; and he got swayed away by his wifes.

Post to be continued, question in process ... Comments welcome!

sketch of well-balanced scripture reading diet

2008-03-12T22:32:00.004+02:00

Basic nutricional groups:

Law codes (Torah, Prophets, Gospels)
Historical records (through the whole bible according to time line)
Stories (Tanach, Gospels, Acts)
Wisdom (Proverbs, Kohelet, Job, Psalms, Letters)
Prayers (Psalms, other prayers in Tanach, in Gospels and Letters)
Prophecies (all over, Prophets, Gospels, Revelation)

weekday morning study:

Prayers
Stories
Law codes
Wisdom

weekday evening study:

Historical records
Stories
Prophecies

Friday morning study:

Prayers
Prophecies

Shabbat study:

Song of Songs
Torah portion
Shabbat laws & Shabbat stories
Gospels & Revelation
free study according to what G-d puts on the heart

Motzei Shabbat evening study:

Prayers
Historical records

Sunday morning study:

Prayers
Torah portion
Prophecies
Stories
Law codes
Wisdom

Fear

2008-03-12T13:55:00.002+02:00

Fear of destroying my testimony. Am I that important? Fear to be a bad witness for Yeshua. Fear to be a stumbling stone and to turn people away from Yeshua: Fear to cause a bad name for the community.

Confession:

Lack of confidence, insecurity in my walk, decisions and guidance.
Lack of substance in relationship with G-d, lack of Bible reading.

Fact: I overstepped time limits and legal/administrative boundaries. Why?
Fact: People seem to be ready to forgive me these things and give grace. That I should take as a sign of G-d's forgiveness and grace.

Yeshua is the issue and I can not deny Him!

How could Peter at the fire have responded differently? Was it humanly possible at all? After the resurrection, empowered by the Holy Spirit he did not fear any longer.
I gather it needs faith in the risen Lord and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Fear seems to be the opposite or counter-quality to faith. "Perfect love drives out all fear..." What is the connection between love and faith?

The love received from authority drives out fear and frees up to love in return.
My love for Him leads to knowledge and understanding and to a favourable relationship. Based on these, faith has a solid ground.

Examining substance and foundation

2008-03-12T07:05:00.003+02:00

My relationship with G-d has a long history with many remarkable moments, but now, when it is needed, I find that for many months already it has no substance. In fact, throughout the last years the times of substantial regular communication were rather short compared to the times of only occasional and short-lived communication, even if having some kind of contact a few times daily.

G-d cares much more about me than about what I do and accomplish, doesn't He?

I like to start with praise and worship. That makes my heart, mind and soul open and ready to listen to G-d and learn from Him. It also gives me the right attitude when talking to Him about what is on my heart.

Playing songs, but not singing is good, but not good enough: I can not create an atmosphere of praise and worship while trying to hide my adoration of Yeshua. I can not join the worship of other believers by singing common songs while trying to avoid being associated with these very same believers by those that might hear me.

Family skills

2008-03-11T22:17:00.002+02:00

The need for others when being upset, hurt or discouraged

There is the tendency to with-draw at such times, but actually, being together with loved ones which know to take one along into the presence of G-d is much better.

Someone elses Bible is easier to read! Good songs can change a world!

The Command of Daily Bible Reading

2008-03-09T23:28:00.003+02:00

Kings of the tribes of Israel are commanded to write a copy of the Torah for themselfs and study it and meditate upon it daily, day and night.

But moreover, we are called to be a nation of kings and priests. We are called to positions of high responsibility in the Kingdom of G-d. I think it is permissable to extend the command for kings of Israel to disciples of Yeshua, which enter into the calling to be part of the nation of kings and priests.

We need to be very familiar with all the instructions G-d gave us for life on this earth and need to remember everything He revealed to us about Himself and take hold and expect everything He promised.

to die and be born again

2008-03-09T22:49:00.003+02:00

I'm troubled by the Amalek passages in the bible. How can it be an eternal command to hate and destroy Amalek? Is there no repentance? Aren't they, like all other human beings, created in the image of G-d and therefor to be loved and respected?

Didn't Yeshua die for each and every sinner?

Yes, the sinner needs to die and be born again. (And I don't mean - as my flat mates might want to understand - in a reincarnation. I believe in resurrection, definitly not in reincarnation, - except as the very same person at the time of the resurrection.)

How can I get through to the people, my flat mates, which hate the Arabs and justify this hatred with the commanded hatred for Amalek?

I'm used to differenciate between people and their actions: I hate sinful actions, but I love the sinner. I'm used to look at people groups which are full of hatred and abominations as people that need to be reached by the love of G-d. I'm used to pay the price, if necessary with my own life, to get the message of the Gospel across. How many missionaries got killed, but the people were reached through the remaining family or team by the surprising absence of hatred and vengance and the experience of continued and even more fervent love.

online video collections

2007-11-21T22:28:00.000+02:00

http://www.godtube.com/

Recources to Early Christianity and the World of Late Antiquity

2007-11-21T21:54:00.000+02:00

Computer and Internet Resources (compiled by Dr. David Satran , Autumn 2007-2008 )

HU Library-Based Resources

Mt. Scopus Library for Humanities and Social Science –http://www.mslib.huji.ac.il/main/siteNew/?langId=1
MALMAD: Israel Center for Digital Information Services – http://libnet.ac.il/~libnet/malmad.htm
ULI - The Israel Union Catalog
ULS - The Israel Union List of Serials – e.g., Journal of Theological Studies; Journal of Early Christian Studies
ULE - Central List of Electronic Journals
Mt. Scopus Library Database Table – http://www.mslib.huji.ac.il/main/siteNew/?page=26
L'Annee Philologique
ATLA Religion Database
l’Ecole Biblique de Jerusalem – Catalogue de la Bibliotheque (AI 100 Z4 E25) / CD-rom Station 10
Index of Christian Art
International Medieval Bibliography
RAMBI: Index of Articles on Jewish Studies – Before 1985, 5th Floor (Y5: AI 100 J8 R4).
TLG (Thesaurus Linguae Graecae)
Library of Latin Texts (Brepols) – http://www.brepolis.net/login/overview.cfm

Other Library-Based Resources

Library of Congress Online Catalog – http://catalog.loc.gov/
Harvard University (Hollis) Catalog – http://lms01.harvard.edu/F?func=file&file_name=find-b&local_base=pub
Oxford Libraries Information System (OLIS) – http://www.lib.ox.ac.uk/olis/
Princeton Theological Seminary Libraries – http://library1.ptsem.edu/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?DB=local&PAGE=First

Reference

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy – http://plato.stanford.edu/
Bibliographies for Theology – http://camellia.shc.edu/theology/
Biographisch-Bibliographischen Kirchenlexikon (BBK) – http://www.bautz.de/bbkl/
The Catholic Encyclopedia – http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/

Ancient and Classical Sources

Stoa Consortium -- http://www.stoa.org/
Perseus Digital Library – http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/
De Imperatoribus Romanis: Online Encyclopedia of Roman Emperors – http://www.roman-emperors.org/
Internet Ancient History Sourcebook – http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/ancient/asbook.html

New Testament and Christian Origins

New Testament Gateway – http://ntgateway.com/
Resource Pages for Bibical Studies – http://www.torreys.org/bible/
New Testament Basic Bibliography – http://www.biblico.it/doc-vari/bibl_nt.html
The Sepotuagint Online (Joel Kalvesmaki) – http://www.kalvesmaki.com/LXX/index.htm
Philo – http://www.torreys.org/bible/philopag.html
Josephus [Project on Ancient Cultural Engagement ( PACE)] – http://pace.cns.yorku.ca/York/york/index.htm
Papyri from the Rise of Christianity in Egypt – http://www.anchist.mq.edu.au/doccentre/PCEhomepage.html
Philadelphia Seminar on Christian Origins -- http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/psco/

Early Christianity and Patristics

North American Patristic Society Internet Resources –http://moses.creighton.edu/NAPS/napslinks/index.htm
Bibliographical Information Database in Patristics – http://www.bibl.ulaval.ca/bd/bibp/english.html
The Development of the Canon of the New Testament – http://www.ntcanon.org/
Guide to Early Church Documents – http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/christian-history.html
Fathers of the Church (New Advent) – http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/
Early Church Fathers (Christian Classics Ethereal Library) – http://www.ccel.org/fathers2/
Early Church Fathers - Additional Texts – http://www.ccel.org/p/pearse/morefathers/home.html
Augustine of Hippo (J.J. O’Donnell’s pioneering site) – http://www.georgetown.edu/faculty/jod/augustine/
The Tertullian Project – http://www.tertullian.org/
Gregory of Nyssa Home Page – http://www.sage.edu/faculty/salomd/nyssa/home.html
Evagrius Ponticus Website (Joel Kalvesmaki) – http://www.kalvesmaki.com/EvagPont/index.htm
Monastic Spirituality Self-Study (Fr. Luke Dysinger, O.S.B.) – http://www.ldysinger.com/

Byzantine, Medieval and Reformation Christianity

Byzantium: Byzantine Studies on the Internet – http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/byzantium/
Internet Medieval Sourcebook – http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/sbook.html
Labyrinth (WWW Server for Medieval Studies) – http://labyrinth.georgetown.edu/
ORB (Online Reference Book for Medieval Studies) – http://www.the-orb.net/
NetSERF (The Internet Connection for Medieval Resources) – http://www.netserf.org/

Visual Resources:

AICT (image resource for the educational community) – http://arthist.cla.umn.edu/aict/html/index.html
EIKON Image Database for Biblical Studies – http://research.yale.edu:8084/divdl/eikon/index.jsp
HolyLandPhotos – http://www.holylandphotos.org/index.asp
Madaba Mosaic Map – http://198.62.75.1/www1/ofm/mad/index.html
Pilgrim of Bordeaux – http://servus.christusrex.org/www1/ofm/pilgr/bord/10Bord01MapEur.html

Good Course Syllabi on Internet:

Wabash Center for Teaching and Learning in Theology and Religion – Internet Guide
http://www.wabashcenter.wabash.edu/resources/guide_headings.aspx
Early Church – http://www.wabashcenter.wabash.edu/resources/result_browse.aspx?topic=664&pid=650
AAR Syllabus Project
http://www.aarweb.org/syllabus/
Christian Origins // Robert Kraft
http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/rs/rak/courses/135/syllabus.html
Varieties of Early Christianity // Robert Kraft
http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/rs/rak/courses/535/syllabus.html
The History of Christianity: Ancient Christianities // Stephen Shoemaker
http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~sshoemak/321/rel321.htm
Early Christianity (to A.D. 600) // Alan L. Hayes
http://individual.utoronto.ca/hayes/earlychurch/
Conflict of Pagans and Christians in the Roman Empire // Kenneth Harl
http://www.tulane.edu/~august/H401/syllabus/Schedule.htm
Homepage of Annette Yoshiko Reed
http://annettereed.com/index.html

עדות

2007-11-06T21:58:00.000+02:00

An עדות is usually a testimony to remember something. To testify/ be a witness is the calling of the Jewish people.

עדות: commandments that result in the performing people giving and being themselves a testimony of G-d.

The joy of serving G-d

2007-10-31T03:33:00.000+02:00

When serving G-d, you'r always on the side of the winner! Also, who can be a better boss? Who can give us tasks more fitting than the ones He gives? Who is more understanding, just and righteous?

Link - Messiah

2007-10-30T23:02:00.000+02:00

http://www.anointed-one.net/promises.html

Messianic claims- Breslav

2007-10-14T11:26:00.000+02:00

http://www.rickross.com/reference/ultra-orthodox/ultra61.html

Messiah in all but name
"Megilat starim: hazono hamishikhi hasodi shel reb nachman mibratslav" ("Scroll of Secrets: The Hidden Messianic Vision of R. Nachman of Bratslav") by Zvi Mark, Bar-Ilan University, 253 pages, NIS 99 Haaretz, Israel/May 2, 2007 By Immanuel Etkes
The tension between the urge to reveal and publicize secrets, and the necessity of keeping them secret and concealed from the public eye is one of the dominant features of mysticism in general and Jewish mysticism in particular. In early Hasidism, there is nothing that embodied this tension more than the character and spiritual legacy of Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav (1772-1810).
As Zvi Mark, author of "Scroll of Secrets: The Hidden Messianic Vision of R. Nachman of Bratslav," writes: "Secrecy plays a central role in the world of Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav ... We know of one manuscript that Rabbi Nachman hid away, another that he burned, and tales that he forbade his disciples to reveal to outsiders." But it was the secret of redemption that he worked hardest to keep from the world, including most of his followers.
In the summer of 1806, as Rabbi Nachman sat in a carriage on one of his journeys in the Ukraine, he revealed to his closest disciples, Rabbi Nathan of Nemirov and Rabbi Naftali, "the whole order of the coming of the Righteous Redeemer." Rabbi Nathan wrote down his words, and the text became known among the Bratslaver Hasidim as "Megilat Starim," the "Scroll of Secrets."
While the prolific literature of the Bratslavers was influenced by the very existence of this scroll and allusions to what it says, the scroll itself has been a closely guarded secret for 200 years. Mark's impressive achievement starts with convincing the Bratslavers to show him the secret text and to allow him to publish it. No less impressive is his ability to recruit knowledgeable individuals to help him decode the scroll, which is written in enigmatic abbreviations and acronyms. The text is now presented in Mark's book, along with a detailed analysis of the messianic era as envisioned by Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav.
Mark begins by tracing what became of the scroll from the time it was written until today, and surveying the various manuscripts that have survived. This discussion leads to the conclusion that the version of the scroll being published here for the first time is a faithful rendition of the text recorded by Rabbi Nathan. After presenting the decoded scroll, which is accompanied by a facsimile of the original, Mark launches into a meticulous analysis of the text, basing himself, in part, on the numerous references to the messianic era that crop up in Nachman's writings. The importance of Mark's book thus grows clearer as it is reviewed in the broad context of Bratslav literature. His interpretive strategy is grounded on a keen knowledge of this complex body of literature, and a careful, sensitive and creative reading of it.
'I can do it all'
Mark's first important conclusion is that the Messiah referred to in the scroll is a tzaddik (pious scholar) in Rabbi Nachman's own image. The messianic times portrayed here are "a perfect fulfillment of the Bratslav code of values." Indeed, Rabbi Nachman's personal messianic pretensions emerge loud and clear from various remarks attributed to him in his lifetime, particularly the statement that "everything the Messiah does for the benefit of the Jewish people, I can do, too. The difference is that the Messiah can carry out his mission ... whereas I do not yet have that capability."
Rabbi Nachman regarded himself as having all the necessary qualifications to be the Messiah. What kept him from fulfilling his messianic potential was a lack of recognition. The tremendous gap between his self-image and the public's failure to recognize his eminence was something that haunted Rabbi Nachman all his life. In his own eyes, he was not only the greatest tzaddik of his day, but the greatest tzaddik of all times. Even when his health deteriorated and he knew the end was near, he did not despair: He might not fulfill his messianic mission in his lifetime, but his teachings would continue to have influence after his death. "My fire will burn until the coming of the Messiah," he poetically put it.
As Mark points out, this statement was interpreted by his followers as more than a prophecy. It was a will and testament that they were obligated to fulfill. Another Rabbi Nachman saying that fueled the messianic mindset of his followers was "the whole world will be Bratslav one day." Recognition of Rabbi Nachman's supremacy and the importance of his message and messianic redemption are thus two sides of the same coin.
What will the world be like in the days of the Messiah, according to Rabbi Nachman? What kind of man will the Messiah be? What are the missions imposed on him, and how will he carry them out? One of the foundation texts for the messianic outlook in Jewish history is Maimonides' "Hilchot Melachim," chapters 11-12. In an attempt to establish criteria by which someone purporting to be the Messiah is measured, Maimonides writes that one qualification is "winning God's wars" - that is, wars waged to free the people of Israel and the Land of Israel from the yoke of the non-Jews.
'Without war or mayhem'
Rabbi Nachman's vision of redemption omits this category of war. His messiah has no need of wars, because "all will submit to him without war or mayhem." His charm and charisma will suffice. This is because "the Messiah's primary weapon is prayer." Prayer, which played a starring role in Rabbi Nachman's inner world and his legacy to his followers, is also the Messiah's foremost tool for winning hearts in the non-Jewish world.
In this respect, there is a resemblance between Rabbi Nachman's messiah and Shabtai Zvi, who also spurned military activism in favor of prayer (unlike Jacob Frank, for instance, whose messianic vision was suffused with militarism). But while Rabbi Nachman leaves out the military component, he retains the universalist approach that underpins it. Maimonides writes that the Messiah will "repair the world and bring all people to worship God together." This vision of global redemption is anchored in the writings of the prophets. In the Middle Ages, however, Sephardi and Ashkenazi scholars differed on this issue. While the Sephardi thinkers continued to cultivate a view of the messianic era that was universal in character, the Ashkenazim adopted a particularist approach, one of whose components was divine revenge on the nations of the world for the suffering they inflicted on the Jewish people. Rabbi Nachman rejected the Ashkenazi approach in favor of Sephardi-style messianism.
For Rabbi Nachman, the Messiah's mission in the non-Jewish world is one of compassion and outreach. Once the Messiah is accepted as king by the Jewish people, he will turn to the leaders of the non-Jewish world and promote a code of behavior that is similar to the Jewish ethic. Furthermore, he will "repair their prayer," thereby fulfilling the vision of the prophets: "For then I will make the peoples pure of speech/so that they all invoke the Lord by name" (Zephaniah 3:9).
As we have said, Mark claims that the messianic figure described in "Scroll of Secrets" is a kind of reflection of Nachman himself. To be more exact, not only does Rabbi Nachman have a messianic mission, but the Messiah is an embodiment of all his qualities and abilities. It comes as no surprise, then, that the niggun, or Hasidic melody, that figures so highly in Rabbi Nachman's world, is slated to play a pivotal role in the messianic era.
One of the properties that Rabbi Nachman attributes to the niggun is the ability to bring back souls who have "fallen into apostasy." But the real role of the niggun, it seems, is to draw listeners into a dance so pleasurable and uplifting that they forget all else. The power of the niggun induces a state of mystical ecstasy. And here we find that the mission of the future Messiah will also be achieved through the niggun: "He will produce new musical instruments and melodies because he will be a great master of the niggun." These musical innovations will so charm and delight people that they will accept his authority.
Cure for every disease
Another special talent of Rabbi Nachman's, which he also ascribes to the future Messiah, is healing. According to his student Rabbi Nathan, Nachman had a book with cures for every illness in the world, but he chose not to use it. In the end, he had it burned. Rabbi Nachman's messiah, on the other hand, will plant a garden of plants and herbs for medicinal purposes, and supply each and every sick person with medicines providing a cure.
What will the world be like after the coming of the Messiah? Some have speculated that the natural order will change. Others have said that the only difference will be "shiabud malkhuyot" - political change (Brakhot 34b). Rabbi Nachman followed Maimonides, who claimed that the world would go on as before. Not only will the laws of nature remain the same, but also human nature and society. The quality of life will improve, and the world will be a nicer place, but the evil urge will not disappear. It will still be necessary to have courts and law-enforcement authorities. Differences in spiritual level will also remain, with each individual advancing on the spiritual scale at his own pace.
If the miraculous components of messianic faith are gone, there is a question of how the Messiah will bring about the redemption of the Land of Israel and rescue it from the hands of the non-Jews. Mark describes Rabbi Nachman's answer to this question as "political Zionism." In no Jewish source prior to Nachman had anyone ever suggested such a thing. The Messiah will restore the Land of Israel to the Jewish people "not by might, nor by power," but via a series of territorial exchanges based on financial transactions, thereby gaining possession of the land by right. Only then will the incoming of the exiles commence. At that time, all Jews will head for the Land of Israel and "a King of Israel will arise."
Perhaps the greatest surprise for readers of Megilat Starim lies in what is missing from it: the Temple. Rebuilding the Temple and reviving the custom of sacrifices have always been perceived as essential to messianic redemption. But the Temple is totally absent from the messianic vision of Rabbi Nachman. To explain the significance of this omission, Mark emphasizes what the scroll does contain: The Messiah as a key figure in the messianic era. The role that the Temple was meant to play is taken over by "melekh hamashiah" - the Messiah king.
What motivated leading figures in the Bratslav community to disclose the whereabouts of this hidden scroll and allow it to be brought into the public eye? Presumably, they felt that publicizing Rabbi Nachman's messianic vision would make it happen sooner, although it seems doubtful that all members of the community were comfortable with that decision. One way or another, many readers will be happy to hear about the pacifist, humanist and universalist nature of the Messiah as envisioned by Rabbi Nachman. It is a refreshing break from the militaristic messianism spouted by extremist groups today, from the territorial-nationalist messianism of Gush Emunim to the personal messianism promoted by certain messianic streams in Chabad.
Prof. Immanuel Etkes teaches at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem's Department of the History of the Jewish People. His book "The Besht: Magician, Mystic and Leader" was published by Brandeis University Press in 2005.

Healthy foundations for prophetic ministry

2007-10-07T02:06:00.000+02:00

Learning About Prophecy From The Apostles

Although the Bible gives us no examples of the Apostles prophesying, never-the-less, their response to a particular church problem gives us a principle that is characteristic of genuine prophetic ministry.

Read with me Acts 6:1-4:

"And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration. Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, It is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business. But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word."

Notice what they did not say. They did not say:

"We will give ourselves continually to prophesying."

Nor did they say:

"We will give ourselves continually to working miracles and healing the sick."

And finally, they did not say:

"We will give ourselves continually to evangelism."

They focused continually, not just from time to time, on prayer and the ministry of the Word. They knew that by maintaining a vibrant prayer life, they would receive from the Lord His plans for ministry. Getting away from the people and their problems and cares, and getting alone with the Lord in prayer was vital.

In prayer in other tongues, for instance, they would be edified, built up, recharged, as Paul would later write, "For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue edifieth himself." (I Cor. 14:4). Also, the twelve Apostles, like Paul, would privately pray in tongues, and pray in Hebrew. (I Cor. 14:15). They would sing in tongues, and they would sing in Hebrew. And by doing so, they would be built up in faith and in the anointing in order to minister to the people, fulfill their responsibilities, and keep themselves morally pure and on track.

In addition, they said that they would give themselves continually to the ministry of the Word. They remembered the Lord's instruction that the person who heard God's words and did them, was like a wise man who built his house upon a rock, and how that house withstood the storms of life. (Luke 6:48,49). Regardless of being Apostles, and regardless of being anointed, they had to build their own lives and ministries on God's written word. And they taught everyone else to do the same.

One of the great pitfalls of prophetic ministry is the temptation to build your entire ministry on the operation of spiritual gifts. Prophecy is precious, but don't build your ministry on prophecy. Tongues and interpretation are a blessing, but don't build your ministry on them or on the operation of any of the other gifts. Build your ministry, like the Apostles did, on prayer and ministering the word.

Brother Hagin urged all ministers, regardless of the gifts God used them in, to develop a solid preaching or teaching ministry. Sister Goodwin was adamant about that same principle. She had no interest whatever in sitting down and listening to someone's prophecies and visions. She much rather preferred to discuss God's written Word and to listen to God's Word.
I was surprised one day when she told me who one of her favorite TV ministers was: Charles Stanley--A Southern Baptist. He did not preach and teach on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit in the same way that Sister Goodwin believed. But she admired him she told me, "because he gets up there and preaches....the.....Word." She simply would not attend or watch meetings which consisted almost entirely of prophecy and spiritual gifts. She did not believe in an over-emphasis on spiritual gifts. That is wise.

In her prime, Sister Goodwin herself was a very strong preacher and teacher. Dad Goodwin wrote one time that Mom had preached a message to the congregation that you had to have on "an asbestos suit" in order to withstand. She did not build her personal ministry on prophecy alone. She put first the preaching and teaching of God's written Word. That is wise. She stayed the course and died in a rich old age, with much spiritual fruit, while William Branham, and some other prophets of her generation who placed less epmphasis on God's written Word, went off the deep end.

The plain fact of the matter is that any ministry built primarily on spiritual gifts, will not last.

I was an eye-witness to this some years ago. In a phone conversation, I was invited by a pastor I had never met, to come visit a series of services being held in his church by a prophet. Having seen so much nonsense over the years passed off as "prophetic ministry," I was skeptical, but I attended. And what a blessing it was!

This prophet ministered by the Word of Knowledge and the Word of Wisdom to many people in the service, including me. I had been living in this area only a few days, and I did not know the pastor, and had never heard of this prophet. So what he said to me, was entirely by the Spirit of God.

He said:

"Direction, direction...I need direction. Do I go this way? Or that? Inside, partly I'm happy, and partly I'm miserable."

He took my hand in a handshake and said:

"The word of prophecy is in you, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Be sure to give that when it comes to you."

"I do," I replied.

He finished, "God is going to put a new anointing upon you, and then the financial problem is going to turn." He laid his hands on my head for a second, then returned to the platform and ministered to others.

The prophet's "word" described me correctly at that moment. And the "new anointing" he told me would come, did indeed come about a year later. That anointing was the pastor's anointing, and afterwards, my finances did improve dramatically and have continued to do so to this day.

I was introduced to the prophet and pastor after the service. And over the course of the next two weeks or so, we had lunch together, and fellowshipped together several times. I also attended every one of his meetings that I could.

But I quickly became concerned about this brother. His gifts were real. In fact, he had flowing through him the strongest manifestations of the Word of Knowledge and the Word of Wisdom I had seen since my days with Sister Goodwin. But he was building his ministry entirely on spiritual gifts.

In each service, his pattern was the same. After the praise team left the platform, he would sit behind the piano, and sing a chorus or two of some old-time Pentecostal song. Sometimes he would go from that to immediately ministering to people through his gift. Other times, he would get out his bible, begin a sermon or read just a couple of Scriptures, but as soon as his gift began operating, he would stop the sermon in mid sentence, and begin ministering through his gift to individuals.

Night after night, he would read a Scripture or two, give about 10% of a sermon, and then go into ministering in the Spirit to people. After the anointing lifted, he would give a quick instruction about how to receive Christ as Savior, and give an altar call. A number of people came to Christ in those meetings.

I began to meet other ministers who had known this prophet for years and I asked them, "Have you ever heard this brother actually preach a full sermon?" And even those who had known him for years admitted they had not.

The meetings ended, and he returned to his home in a state hundreds of miles away. Months passed, and fellow ministers told me that the prophet was having alot of financial problems. Churches weren't supporting them like they really should have. Some of his meetings doubled and tripled the new converts and new members joining these churches.

He was preaching seven days a week, sometimes leaving a meeting, driving hundreds of miles without sleep, and walking in to a church just in time to start the service. He wasn't taking time to be refreshed in prayer. He wasn't feeding on the Word at all. In fact, he knew very little about the Bible.

Several forces came together at once in his life, and he sinned a sin. And the sin was one that was also illegal. He pled guilty, and was sentenced to a long prison sentence. He has been in prison for the last 12 years, and is still there. I've remained in touch with him, writing from time to time, remembering him at holidays, and sometimes sending him books. The day will come when he is released, and can slowly be restored to ministry, and I look forward to that day for him.

When he fell, people were shattered, and all asked "Why?"

Why?

Too much ministry. Not enough sleep.

No prayer to speak of. No study or ministry of the Word to speak of. He just built his whole ministry on spiritual gifts.

My friend's life and ministry imploded. And so has the life and ministry of every other prophet or minister I've known or heard of who did not exalt the preaching of God's Word above all else.

Brother Hagin and Sister Goodwin and many of the Pentecostal giants of old, were adamant about this principle. They had witnessed many genuinely anointed ministries eventually collapse into error and sin, from not adhering tightly to God's Word.

If you question this principle remember how long Brother Hagin and Sister Goodwin ministered prophetically, stayed true, never got off into error, and went to Glory with a clean, scriptural record:

Brother Hagin ministered over 60 years.

Sister Goodwin ministered over 50 years.

I've ministered for 17 years.

Someone who reads this blog recently asked me, "Well, what did they do when the Spirit of God started moving? Did they basically ignore that, until they had finished their message?"

No. Many times when the Spirit begins moving, especially prophetically, you have to respond rather quickly and yield to that anointing, or you quench it.

So the Goodwins took an approach that is worthy of us following. God used them wonderfully in the Gifts of the Spirit, and also used numerous members of their congregation similarly. But they always preached and taught God's written Word in every service.

As we all have experienced, Mom and Dad had times in which their service turned into a Holy Ghost meeting. During praise and worship the Spirit of God would begin moving so strongly that various miracles took place, God's presence moved in, and Mom and Dad ministered to numerous people through their prophetic and pastoral giftings. This might happen for an hour or more.

At the point when the moving of the Spirit began to lift, most preachers would have sent the people home.

Mom and Dad did not do that.

Dad would have the members all sit back down, and he would tell them, "We have been blessed by the moving of the Spirit of God today. But we never come here to church without hearing from God's written Word. So, I'm going to teach you from God's Word for five minutes, and then I will dismiss you."

And he would take off his watch, lay it on the edge of the pulpit, and would keep his eye on the time. He would give them a brief exhortation from God's Word, and then when the five minites were up, he dismissed them and sent them home. By doing so, he taught the people to build their lives NOT on the moving of the Spirit, NOR even on spiritual gifts--wonderful though they are--but to continually look to God's written Word as their source of instruction and strength.

Do you see the wisdom in this approach?

Are you beginning to see how the Goodwins were able to minister prophetically for over 50 years, and yet they never got off into the error and goofiness that the "New Prophetic Move" ministers did?

God never intended people to place their faith in someone's spiritual gift. He wants them to have faith in His written Word. The spiritual diet we are on, and that we feed to others, must be a diet of the meat of God's word. Then if, over and above our teaching ministry, the gifts manifest--fine. If not--fine.

We learn from the Apostles:

We must build our ministry on prayer and the ministry of the Word, giving people the solid meat of God's Word and letting the Gifts of the Spirit be the dessert.

Copyright 2006 Mel C. Montgomery. All rights reserved. Material may be copied and shared with others as long as it is done so in entirety, without charge, and attribution is given.

Teaching on using the prophetic gift

2007-10-07T01:48:00.000+02:00

Learning About Prophecy From Agabus

by Mel C. Montgomery

The manner in which Agabus the prophet ministered prophetically can teach us much about genuine prophetic ministry.

Paul was making his final rounds of some of the churches he had founded, and his goal was to complete this journey and be at Jerusalem by Pentecost. From Miletus, Paul sent to the Elders at Ephesus, and asked them to come to him. When they arrived, Paul told them some things and I want us to note a couple of his comments:
"And now, behold, I go bound in the Spirit unto Jerusalem, not knowing the things that shall befall me there: Save that the Holy Ghost witnesses in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions abide me. "
Paul said that in every city, the Holy Ghost witnessed that bonds and afflictions lay ahead for him. How did the Holy Ghost "witness" to Paul this fact? He did so by flowing through various believers, giving prophecies and messages in tongues and in the interpretation of tongues, telling Paul that "bonds and afflictions" awaited him. Please note in the next verse, Paul's attitude to the suffering that lay ahead:
"But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I may finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the Gospel of the grace of God. And now, behold, I know that ye all among whom I have gone preaching the kingdom of God, shall see my face no more..." Acts 20:22-25.

Paul knew this was his last missionary journey. He told them, "I know that ye all...shall see my face no more." He knew that whatever lay ahead, there was no coming back. He was saying his final goodbyes to his beloved Christian brethren. And he faced his future with the boldness of a lion.

Note in Acts Chapter 21, what happened when he arrived in Tyre:
Vs. 4: "And finding disciples, we tarried there seven days: who said to Paul through the Spirit that he should not go up to Jerusalem."
Paul had said that in every city "the Holy Ghost witnessed," to him. And here in Tyre, disciples "said...through the Spirit..." Here too, several Christians either prophesied to Paul, or gave messages in tongues and in the interpretation of tongues. And these messages went a step further, than those that occurred in other cities up to this time. These utterances told Paul that he should not go to Jerusalem at all.

From Tyre, Paul and his travelling companions went to Caesarea. When they arrived there, they ran into more prophecies:
Vs. 8: "And the next day we that were of Paul's company departed, and came unto Caesarea: and we entered into the house of Phillip the Evangelist, which was one of the seven, and we abode with him."
Vs. 9: "And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy."
What they specifically prophesied to or around Paul, we do not know.

Up to this point in the narrative, we see example after example of what we would call ordinary believers, "lay people" as some would term them, prophesying to Paul and/or giving him messages through tongues and the interpretaiton of tongues.

I find Paul's response to these prophecies to be most interesting: as far as we know, he had no response to them at all. He didn't agree or disagree with them. He didn't say that they were true prophecies or false prophecies.

After the prophecies of Phillip's daughters, we are given the example of prophecy operating on a higher order, through an experienced and established full-fledged prophet from Judea by the name of Agabus. It was quite dramatic:
Vs. 10: "And as we tarried there many days, there came down from Judea a certain prophet, named Agabus."
Vs. 11: "And when he was come to us, he took Paul's girdle, and bound his own hands and feet, and said, Thus saith the Holy Ghost, So shall the Jews at Jerusalem bind the man that owns this girdle, and shall deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles."
Now observe closely:
Vs. 12: "And when we heard these things, both we, and they of that place, besought him not to go up to Jerusalem."
Who "besought" Paul not to go up to Jerusalem?

"...both we..."--Luke and Paul's companions.

"...and they of that place..."--Phillip the Evangelist, his prophesying daughters, and local Christians.

Who said nothing?

Agabus the prophet.

You see, Agabus had "came down from Judea." He was not one of the local Christians, and he was not a part of Paul's travelling company. So the Bible does not include him among those who urged Paul not to go to Jerusalem.

Agabus had come to Caesarea apparently for the specific purpose of giving Paul this word through prophecy, or through tongues and interpretation. And he acted it out like the Goodwins did countless times, and like I have done many times also.

Everyone said, "Paul! Don't Go!"

Everyone, but Agabus.

He said nothing.

Why?

Because the Holy Spirit was not telling Paul to avoid Jerusalem. It was God's will for Paul to go to Jerusalem at this time. And in this prophecy through Agabus, the Holy Spirit was simply telling Paul what awaited him at Jerusalem.

Now, those not familiar with how the Holy Spirit flows in the Gift of Prophecy, assume that Paul made a mistake by ignoring this word and going to Jerusalem.

No, Paul did not make a mistake.

You have to remember what the Lord told Paul when He first called him into the ministry after Paul's blinding experience on the road to Damascus. The Lord sent a disciple named Ananias to go minister healing to Paul. And the Lord said to Ananias:
"...go your way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the Children of Israel. For I will show him what great things he must suffer for my name's sake." Acts 9:15,16.
All believers suffer persecution and affliction to a certain extent in their Christian walk. However, a frequent part of true Apostolic ministry is the ministry of suffering. For instance, of the original eleven remaining apostles, no two died in the same place, and all were crucified, tortured, or painfully killed except for John who was imprisoned on the Isle of Patmos and eventually died a natural death later.

Recently I read an article about an Apostle in China. He has been imprisoned and beaten countless times. Yet, inspite of all of the persecutions and afflictions, he has helped to start several thousand undergound churches throughout China. Like Paul, this Apostle is fulfilling the ministry of suffering that often goes with the Apostle's office. Like Paul, he can say of the beatings and the scars,
"...I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus..." Gal. 6:17.

Or as the Amplified Bible translates it:

"...for I bear on my body the brand marks of the Lord Jesus, [the wounds, scars and other outward evidence of persecutions]--These testify to His ownership of me!"
Suffering had been a frequent occurrance throughout all of Paul's ministry. He wrote of his previous sufferings:
"of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen , in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness."--II Cor. 11:24-27.
Paul was well acquainted with suffering. All of the Apostles were. Christ had told Paul that he would suffer, on a level far beyond what most Christians suffer, as a part of his Apostolic calling.

It was revealed to Agabus by the Holy Spirit that additonal suffering lay ahead for Paul. And he wisely said ONLY what God had inspired him to say, and he drew no conclusions from it as to whether Paul was to go or not go.

The disciples at Tyre had "said to Paul through the Spirit that he should not go up to Jerusalem." Quite a difference between their prophecies and the one given by Agabus.

They said, "Paul, don't go!"

Agabus said simply, "This is what lies ahead of you."

The disciples at Tyre were right in what they perceived, but wrong in what they concluded from it. They assumed that the Holy Spirit had given them this word for Paul so that they could warn him away from danger. But the Holy Spirit wasn't warning Paul away from danger. He simply sent Agabus to confirm to Paul, what Paul already knew in his own spirit: bonds and afflictions are ahead for me.

The disciples at Tyre crossed a line that Agabus did not cross, and that must not be crossed in genuine prophetic ministry: Agabus told Paul what the Holy Ghost said, but he did not tell Paul what to do about it. He left it up to Paul to seek the Lord's direction in prayer on his own.

Additional prayer was not necessary though for Paul already knew in his heart what lay ahead, and he had already made up his mind what he was going to do about it. Read Paul's response to those who urged him to turn aside and avoid the suffering that lay ahead:
"Then Paul answered, What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus."--Acts 21:13.

Had Paul heeded the prophecies given to him by believers at Tyre, and the urgings of the believers at Caesarea, he would have gotten completely out of God's will.

He might never have been arrested, and eventually brought before kings to testify of Jesus Christ. And with Paul cowering away from suffering, many other Christians in that day when faced with suffering might also have compromised their testimony. But because Paul knew suffering was coming, and he met it head-on in the courage and strength of God, other believers were inspired to likewise meet their fates with the same courage. And thus the Christian faith spread throughout the known world in only a generation or two.

Nero, the other Caesars, and other persecutors found they could not beat Christianity out of the Christians, neither could he burn it out of them. And that same group of Christians look over the banister of Heaven at us today, cheering us on in the challenges we face.

Glory to God.

Much, much, much can be learned from the way Agabus handled this 'word' and the way believers in Tyre handled it.

Allow me to give you an example from my own ministry.

About 15 years ago, God gave me an experience.

I was sitting at my kitchen table, getting ready to read the morning newspaper when the Holy Ghost showed me something.

In a vision, I saw a woman from the Church I was attending. Let's say her name was Lucy. Lucy stood before me, and the Holy Ghost said, "Tell her, I am the Healer of the breach, and the Restorer of paths to dwell in." That was drawn from the Scripture:
"...and you shall be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in."--Isa. 58:12
I started to put this off. I did not know this woman well. I had attended at this church for only a few weeks. I had seen her at church services several times, and had shaken her hand, but had had no conversations with her of any depth at all.

She was always well dressed, and seemed like she had it all together. I wondered what this "healer of the breach and restorer of paths to dwell in," could possibly mean to a woman who seemed to have everything.

But I knew the Holy Spirit had shown me this for a reason, and I needed to be faithful to share it with her. So I found her name in the phone book, and called her.

I told her, "Lucy, I'm don't know if you remember me or not, but I attend church with you."

She said, "Yes, I know you."

I said, "Ok. I don't know if this means anything to you or not, but I just had a vision about you. I saw you standing before me in this vision, and the Holy Spirit said, 'Tell her, I am the Healer of the Breach and the Restorer of paths to dwell in.' So, I wanted to pass that along to you, and ask you, does this mean anything to you?"

She began crying over the phone. Then she said, "Yes. That is very meaningful to me."

She continued, "You see Mel, you don't know this, but I am going through a divorce right now. My husband has cheated on me so many times, and I have forgiven him time and time again. But I have finally reached the point where I won't put up with this anymore."

"And this is costing me dearly, particularly financially. My husband makes far more money than I do. And I know by divorcing him, my income is going to drop dramatically. I am going to have to sell my house, because I can't afford the payments on my salary alone. Not only am I losing my marriage, but my standard of living is going to drop dramatically."

"Before you called, I took a walk around the block. And on the outside, I was silent, but on the inside, I was screaming out to God. I said, 'God, I know I can get through this if I can know that the things I am losing today will be restored to me some day.' So for God to tell me, 'I am the Healer of the breach and the Restorer of paths to dwell in,' that lets me know that God knows what I am going through, and that one day He will restore all that I have lost."

Now, here is where the temptation came in. Here is where the disciples at Tyre crossed a line that Agabus refused to cross, and that I refuse to cross.

Lucy said, "I have the divorce papers laying on the table before me. All I have to do is sign them, and they become final. Do you think I should sign them? Or do you think that God is going to restore my husband and marriage to me?"

I replied, "Lucy, I won't go there. I won't make a decision for you. You need to get alone with God, and pray until you get your direction from Him as to what you are to do. All I know is, that whatever happens, God is going to heal and restore your life."

She said, "Thank you." And the conversation ended.

I can not remember the specific details now, but I know I left that church very shortly after that, and I didn't get a chance to see or talk to Lucy again. I didn't know what her decision was.

About a year later, I was in one of the government buildings downtown. As I walked across the lobby, the elevators opened, and Lucy stepped out.

And she was glowing!

I went up to her, and I said, "What has happened to you?"

She said, "After our conversation, I went ahead and signed the divorce papers. And some time after that, I met a Christian man. A real Christian man. The kind of man I wished my husband had been. We have dated for quite awhile. And he loves me, and he loves my daughter. And I was just upstairs getting a marriage license. We are going to be married soon."

And I said, "Well Lucy, He is the Healer of the breach and the Restorer of paths to dwell in isn't He?"

She said, "He sure is." She and this brother married, and the last I heard of them they were very happy. To God be the Glory.

Prophetic ministry, when it is genuine, and when the opinions of men are not mixed in with it, can minister great strength and encouragement to those going through difficult times. But when it is polluted by the ideas of men, it can become absolutely toxic. It can do far more harm than good.

Before we leave the story of Agabus, I want us to notice learn two more lessons from him.

One lesson is this:

Just because you have a few prophecies, does not make you a prophet in God's eyes.

There has come forth an erroneous teaching in recent years in Charismatic circles, which claims that there is no longer an office of the prophet, just believers all prophesying equally.

Nonsense.

We see that the Bible make clear distincitions in this incident:

In Tyre, "disciples... said through the Spirit..."

In Caesarea, Phillip had four daughters, "...which did prophesy."

Then, "...there came down from Judea a certain prophet, named Agabus."

The Bible does not identify the disciples at Tyre as prophets. Nor does it state that Phillip's daughters were prophets. These prophesied, but they were not full-fledged prophets. Agabus, however, was specifically identified and called "a prophet."

Every born-again, Spirit-filled believer can potentially be used in the gift of prophecy. But that does not mean that they stand in the office of a prophet. Every believer can similarly be used to lead others to Christ, but that does not indicate that they stand in the office of the Evangelist.

When Christ arose from the dead and ascended to the Father, He set in place specific ministry offices:
"And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers..." Eph. 4:11.
One of the most devestating occurrances to ever occur in modern Christianity took place in the 1990's in Charismatic Churches. There was a gross over-emphasis on personal prophecy in those years. The Holy Spirit would use a believer in prophecy, once or twice, and those around them would foolishly tell them, "See? You're a prophet! You need to go out and prophesy to the world."

So that poor believer would hang out his shingle, "John Smith, Prophet at Large," and would prophesy over anything and everyone in sight. Such believers then began writing books, "How to Be a Prophet," "How to Prophesy," basically trying to teach, "How to be a prophet in five easy lessons!" They held "prophetic conventions, " and "prophetic conferences." They started "Prophetic churches," and "Prophetic Networks." And almost all of it was simply the blind leading the blind. And what did our Lord say would happen if the blind lead the blind? "They shall both fall into the ditch." And that "New Prophetic Move," did indeed fall into the ditch. Churches were wrecked, lives were shattered, and erroneous teachings went forth which we are still struggling to dig ourselves out of!

The disciples at Tyre prophesied. It was not false prophecy per se. It was genuine leadings of the Lord run amok. It was everybody and his brother prophesying at the drop of a hat. And it was wrong. And all of Christianity in that day would have been devestated had Paul listened to any of it.

I heard Brother Hagin relate a similar story from his own life. Back in the 1940's and 1950's during the Healing Revival, the Lord spoke to him. There were dozens and dozens of Healing Evangelists--Oral Roberts, A.A. Allen, Jack Coe, etc.,--criscrossing the country, preaching from giant tents. The Lord told Brother Hagin specifically, "Don't you do that. Stay in the churches." So Brother Hagin ministered from church to church.

Yet everywhere Brother Hagin went, he was met with Christians prophesying to him, or speaking messages to him through tongues and interpretation of tongues, telling him that he too was to get a tent and start preaching from it. He said, "I don't mean that it happened just one time. Everywhere I went, every city, for years--there would be at least one believer prophesy to me or give a message in tongues in which they told me to get a tent."

Did he buy a tent?

No.

You might say, "But the prophecies told him to! Everywhere he went! For years!"

Yes, but the Lord had already told him not to.

Were these "false prophecies?"

Not in the sense of being from the Devil. You just had alot of inexperienced and unknowledgable believers, feeling a little bit of inspiration, and standing up and saying, "Thus saith the Lord!...Buy a tent!"

Yes, that was the direction of the Lord for many Healing Evangelists in that day.

No, it was not the Lord's direction for Brother Hagin.

So when someone would prophesy that to Brother Hagin, he would just smile to the one giving him the message, and then toss aside the "prophecy," and never give it another thought.

Had he gotten a tent, he would have been as completely out of God's will as Paul would have been if he had listened to the prophecies of some of his day, and avoided Jerusalem.

Did you notice that neither Paul nor his seasoned ministry companions had any reactions to these prophecies?

Paul was just smiling, and tossing aside those prophecies, just like Brother Hagin did. You see, the Lord Jesus Christ had already told him years before that suffering would be a regular part of his apostolic calling.

These instances were also examples of prophecy operating on a lesser level, so to speak, from the congregational level.

Notice the difference though when Agabus ministered to Paul through the full prophetic office. There was such an unction in his words, that immediately ALL of the assembled Christians, including seasoned ministers, reacted strongly.

Prophecy, when it operates through everyday believers, can be a real blessing. But when it comes through an actual Prophet--it carries a much greater intensity of anointing and authority.

I've seen the difference as I have observed, for instance, Kenneth Hagin or Kenneth Copeland prophesy. There is something much stronger in their prophecies, than in the prophecies that you hear from most believers.

I've experienced the difference myself.

In my home church where I ministered some years ago, the pastor and several others were occasionally used in prophecy or in tongues. What they flowed in was real. But when, not just prophecy, but the full office of the prophet would come upon me, the difference was quite substantial.

I was scheduled to minister on a Sunday night. As I drove to the Church, the prophet's office began to manifest in me. I knew exactly what the Lord wanted to say to the people that night. The Lord revealed to me that there were several people in the congregation that were deeply worried about matters in their lives, and worried specifically about the future. And He wanted to speak to them about the future, and assure their hearts that He would see them throuogh whatever came.

As the praise and worship began, I was seated next to my pastor since I was the guest speaker that night. Although I was scheduled to teach that night, I knew that the way they structured their services would quench the anointing in me if I wasn't careful. After praise and worship, they always had a bunch of announcements, received the offering, and then introduced the guest speaker.

I knew if they went through all that, the prophet's anointing on me would lift before I ever got the chance to speak. So as the music played, I leaned over to the pastor and said, "I have a word from the Lord. Would it be alright for me to give it at the end of praise and worship?" And for just a moment, I saw a look of doubt move across his face.

Why?

Because he too was used from time to time in utterances. But he was called to be a pastor and a teacher. He did not have a specific calling in the area of the prophet like I do. So I knew he doubted for a moment, because he didn't sense any unction within himself to prophesy at that time. And it was therefore only natural for him to wonder for a minute whether I really had a "word" or not. But we knew each other well, and I had ministered in the Spirit there several times. So he gave me the benefit of the doubt and said, "Yes, go ahead and give it at the end of praise and worship."

As I have written in this post and in others, God uses me in an unusual combination of speaking in tongues, interpreting the message, and acting out the gist of the message.

Is this Scriptural?

Certainly.

We have already seen the account of Agabus acting out a prophecy by taking Paul's girdle, binding his own hands and feet, and so on.

In Hosea 12:10 (Amp). the Lord says:

"I have also spoken to you by the prophets, and I have multiplied visions [for you], and [have appealed to you] through parables acted out by the prophets."
I had never seen a prophet act out a prophecy or a parable, until I saw Sister Goodwin minister. After learning from her for several years, she laid her hands on me and the same anointing began to flow through me.

I did not, and I do not, choose to act these out in some kind of fleshly way in order to make it more dramatic, or to crave the attention of men. To do so would grieve the Spirit of God, and He would cease using me at all in utterances. No, from the moment that anointing came into me, the tongues, interpretations, and gestures have all been wrapped up together. It came as a "package deal," I guess you might say.

So when praise and worship ended, I stepped forward and turned on my portable tie microphone.

And I waited.

You see, I can not prophesy at will.

Neither can anyone else.

I knew what the Lord wanted to say, but I had to wait for the unction to speak it out. In a few seconds, that unction came.

This word flowed through me in a church service in my home church towards the end of 1999. Through tongues and interpretation, I began to speak and act out this parable. The word was along these lines:

"Just as with a tall man...

And a short man...

Walking down the road together.

And the short man looks down the road,

and he is afraid...

Because there is a bend in the road...

and he can not see around the bend in the road.

And the short man says, 'I am afriad...

For I can not see around the bend in the road.'

And the Tall man says,

'Behold, I am Tall.

And I can see around the bend in the road.'

Thus saith the Lord,

I am that Tall Man to you.

You can not see around the bend in the road of life...

But I can.

I can see things that you can not see.

And I can tell you this,

There is nothing around the bend of the road...

That is bigger than Me.

For you know not your future,

But I do.

And some would worry,

What shall I do?

What shall I face in the future?

What shall become of me?

What about my job?

What about my family?

What about my health?

What about the year 2000?

Know this, Saith God, that I am with you...

so there is no need for fear.

All that the future holds...

The victories and the challenges...

We will walk through them together.

For did I not say unto thee...

I will never leave thee nor forsake thee?

You do not walk this road alone.

So roll the cares of the future over onto Me.

You are not sufficient for them, but I am.

Lift not the burdens that are not yours to carry.

Release the future unto Me.

Fear no evil, for I am with you.

And go forward in confidence...

For the God that is Greater than you...

is your constant Companion."

I acted out the message with these and other gestures:

When I said "tall man," I held my hand out over my head, indicating a tall man.

When I said "short man," I held out my hand indicating a short man.

"Walking down the road together..."--I walked in place. And so on.

There was such an unction, such a powerful anointing in that word. It spoke directly to the hearts of the people. It broke the Spirit of Fear off of them, and released them from worry.

If you remember that time, there was a great deal of concern, especially in Christian circles, over the possibility of all the computers in the world crashing on January 1, 2000. I knew in the natural, of course, that just about everybody was somewhat concerned about this possibility. And there was an overall bondage on the congregation because of that concern. But more than that, I knew by the revelation of the Spirit that there were five people, or five families, that were very worried over matters in their personal life. This word was directed more to them than anyone else. But this word, never-the-less, broke the Y2K worry and fear off of all of us. None of us were huddled down in a hole in the ground with food and guns when the clock struck midnight. We had been prepared. God had reminded us that He was with us. He is obviously bigger than Y2K, or anything else. So what is there to fear?

And being delivered from fear in that instant, then the Presence of God just filled the sanctuary.

When I finished the message in tongues I returned to my seat beside the pastor.

We waited a minute or two in silence. Then he turned to me and asked, "Would you mind if I change the order of the service? We can schedule another time for you to minister."

I said, "Go ahead and go with what you have in your heart."

He sent the Associate Pastor forward to give the announcements, but he never got to give them. He said something so beautiful. He said to the people, "You know, one of the names of God literally means, 'the Lord is there,' and He is, isn't He? Wherever we go, there He is."

With that added comment, the Presence of God got so strong in there, that the announcements were forgotten.

Everything was forgotten.

When He gets so strong in a room, all you can do is just worship Him. So we continued worshipping God for another thirty minutes or so. Then the Pastor went to the pulpit, taught the people a little bit about the move of God we had just experienced, and then turned to me and asked me if I had any more from the Lord.

I gave another couple of quick messages in tongues and interpreted them. Then we closed the service. I don't remember if we even received the offering or not. When God gets that strong in your midst, you don't care about anything but Him.

I got to preach my sermon the next Sunday night, and it bombed.

I bombed. ( lol ) :)

But I didn't care!

Now the reason I told you that long story is to get across to you an example of the difference between a believer prophesying and a prophet prophesying. The pastor that night sensed no anointing to prophesy. And indeed, there wasn't any anointing to prophesy from the congregational level, or from the pastor's office. But my, oh, my! There was a strong anointing to prophesy from the office of the prophet. I yielded to it. It proved real, bore good fruit, and we were all set free by the power of God that night.

Do not misunderstand me and think that I am discouraging prophecy from the congregational level, or in other words, disciples or believers prophesying. I'm not discouraging it at all. I simply want you to understand that it operates at a much lesser intensity of anointing from the congregational level. And without proper training and oversight, members of the congregation can experience what the disciples did at Tyre. They can indeed pick up something in their spirits from the Spirit of God, and can very easily draw absolutely the wrong conclusions from what they perceive, and be almost completely wrong in what they prophesy.

Kenneth Hagin estimated that the strength of anointing he experienced in prophesying from the office of the prophet was probably about 100 times stronger than what most believers are used in.

I agree.

The last lesson I want us to learn from Agabus is that his prophecy did not tell Paul anything new. It did not tell Paul something of which he was completely unaware. It merely confirmed what Paul was already understanding in his own heart from the Spirit of God.

Why did God send Agabus from Judea to Caesarea to merely "confirm" what Paul already knew?

There wasn't anything "mere" about it.

Paul was about to enter into the persecution and abuse that would in time lead to his martyrdom. This word brought him comfort in the loneliness of his imprisonment, in the discomfort, in the ridicule, and in being later abandoned by all but one or two of his staff ministers. It reinforced to Paul the fact that he was in the center of God's perfect will, and assured him therefore, that God would be with him in all the struggles, and that God would see him through the suffering into Glory.

In other words, God would accompany Paul "around the bend in the road," in the same way that 2,000 years later He assured us that He would do with us.

Such prophetic confirmations can serve to keep you steady through difficult times, and help you to stand strong against temptations.

I have never had a genuine prophecy given to me by a genuine prophet that was absolutely new to me.

Never.

And in the hundreds of messages in tongues and interpretations, or prophecies the Lord has given me to speak out to people, I don't know of a single one that was a complete surprise to the hearer.

Not one.

Sister Goodwin prophesied to me, but the overall message she gave, I had already known in my own heart for many years. It simply served to confirm to me what I knew the Lord wanted. Now there were a couple of elements, or a detail or two in the prophecy that were new, but it wasn't a prophecy that just took me by complete suprise.

Brother Hagin used to say, "If I give you a word, and it doesn't confirm what you already sense in your spirit--FORGET IT! I can miss it. I have missed it."

I agree.

Although there were numerous prophecies spoken in the Old Testament which took the hearers by surprise, I can find no New Testament example of one.

We Learn From Agabus:
Speak only what the Lord has revealed.
Do not add in our own conclusions or opinions.
Do not make decisions for other people.
Prophecy that flows through a true prophet will be more strongly anointed than that which flows through believers. Never-the-less it is perfectly legitimate for a non-Prophet to prophesy.
Although a minor detail or two may be new, the vast majority of prophecies and their content should serve mostly to confirm to the hearer what he or she already knows or suspects the Lord is telling them.

Copyright 2006 Mel C. Montgomery All rights reserved. Material may be copied and shared with others if done so in entirety, free of charge, and if attribution is given.

darkness of the soul

2007-09-05T21:07:00.000+03:00

Thursday, Aug. 23, 2007
Mother Teresa's Crisis of Faith
By David Van Biema
Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.— Mother Teresa to the Rev. Michael Van Der Peet, September 1979
On Dec. 11, 1979, Mother Teresa, the "Saint of the Gutters," went to Oslo. Dressed in her signature blue-bordered sari and shod in sandals despite below-zero temperatures, the former Agnes Bojaxhiu received that ultimate worldly accolade, the Nobel Peace Prize. In her acceptance lecture, Teresa, whose Missionaries of Charity had grown from a one-woman folly in Calcutta in 1948 into a global beacon of self-abnegating care, delivered the kind of message the world had come to expect from her. "It is not enough for us to say, 'I love God, but I do not love my neighbor,'" she said, since in dying on the Cross, God had "[made] himself the hungry one — the naked one — the homeless one." Jesus' hunger, she said, is what "you and I must find" and alleviate. She condemned abortion and bemoaned youthful drug addiction in the West. Finally, she suggested that the upcoming Christmas holiday should remind the world "that radiating joy is real" because Christ is everywhere — "Christ in our hearts, Christ in the poor we meet, Christ in the smile we give and in the smile that we receive."
Yet less than three months earlier, in a letter to a spiritual confidant, the Rev. Michael van der Peet, that is only now being made public, she wrote with weary familiarity of a different Christ, an absent one. "Jesus has a very special love for you," she assured Van der Peet. "[But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, — Listen and do not hear — the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me — that I let Him have [a] free hand."
The two statements, 11 weeks apart, are extravagantly dissonant. The first is typical of the woman the world thought it knew. The second sounds as though it had wandered in from some 1950s existentialist drama. Together they suggest a startling portrait in self-contradiction — that one of the great human icons of the past 100 years, whose remarkable deeds seemed inextricably connected to her closeness to God and who was routinely observed in silent and seemingly peaceful prayer by her associates as well as the television camera, was living out a very different spiritual reality privately, an arid landscape from which the deity had disappeared.
And in fact, that appears to be the case. A new, innocuously titled book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light (Doubleday), consisting primarily of correspondence between Teresa and her confessors and superiors over a period of 66 years, provides the spiritual counterpoint to a life known mostly through its works. The letters, many of them preserved against her wishes (she had requested that they be destroyed but was overruled by her church), reveal that for the last nearly half-century of her life she felt no presence of God whatsoever — or, as the book's compiler and editor, the Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, writes, "neither in her heart or in the eucharist."
That absence seems to have started at almost precisely the time she began tending the poor and dying in Calcutta, and — except for a five-week break in 1959 — never abated. Although perpetually cheery in public, the Teresa of the letters lived in a state of deep and abiding spiritual pain. In more than 40 communications, many of which have never before been published, she bemoans the "dryness," "darkness," "loneliness" and "torture" she is undergoing. She compares the experience to hell and at one point says it has driven her to doubt the existence of heaven and even of God. She is acutely aware of the discrepancy between her inner state and her public demeanor. "The smile," she writes, is "a mask" or "a cloak that covers everything." Similarly, she wonders whether she is engaged in verbal deception. "I spoke as if my very heart was in love with God — tender, personal love," she remarks to an adviser. "If you were [there], you would have said, 'What hypocrisy.'" Says the Rev. James Martin, an editor at the Jesuit magazine America and the author of My Life with the Saints, a book that dealt with far briefer reports in 2003 of Teresa's doubts: "I've never read a saint's life where the saint has such an intense spiritual darkness. No one knew she was that tormented." Recalls Kolodiejchuk, Come Be My Light's editor: "I read one letter to the Sisters [of Teresa's Missionaries of Charity], and their mouths just dropped open. It will give a whole new dimension to the way people understand her."
The book is hardly the work of some antireligious investigative reporter who Dumpster-dived for Teresa's correspondence. Kolodiejchuk, a senior Missionaries of Charity member, is her postulator, responsible for petitioning for her sainthood and collecting the supporting materials. (Thus far she has been beatified; the next step is canonization.) The letters in the book were gathered as part of that process.
The church anticipates spiritually fallow periods. Indeed, the Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross in the 16th century coined the term the "dark night" of the soul to describe a characteristic stage in the growth of some spiritual masters. Teresa's may be the most extensive such case on record. (The "dark night" of the 18th century mystic St. Paul of the Cross lasted 45 years; he ultimately recovered.) Yet Kolodiejchuk sees it in St. John's context, as darkness within faith. Teresa found ways, starting in the early 1960s, to live with it and abandoned neither her belief nor her work. Kolodiejchuk produced the book as proof of the faith-filled perseverance that he sees as her most spiritually heroic act.
Two very different Catholics predict that the book will be a landmark. The Rev. Matthew Lamb, chairman of the theology department at the conservative Ave Maria University in Florida, thinks Come Be My Light will eventually rank with St. Augustine's Confessions and Thomas Merton's The Seven Storey Mountain as an autobiography of spiritual ascent. Martin of America, a much more liberal institution, calls the book "a new ministry for Mother Teresa, a written ministry of her interior life," and says, "It may be remembered as just as important as her ministry to the poor. It would be a ministry to people who had experienced some doubt, some absence of God in their lives. And you know who that is? Everybody. Atheists, doubters, seekers, believers, everyone."
Not all atheists and doubters will agree. Both Kolodiejchuk and Martin assume that Teresa's inability to perceive Christ in her life did not mean he wasn't there. In fact, they see his absence as part of the divine gift that enabled her to do great work. But to the U.S.'s increasingly assertive cadre of atheists, that argument will seem absurd. They will see the book's Teresa more like the woman in the archetypal country-and-western song who holds a torch for her husband 30 years after he left to buy a pack of cigarettes and never returned. Says Christopher Hitchens, author of The Missionary Position, a scathing polemic on Teresa, and more recently of the atheist manifesto God Is Not Great: "She was no more exempt from the realization that religion is a human fabrication than any other person, and that her attempted cure was more and more professions of faith could only have deepened the pit that she had dug for herself." Meanwhile, some familiar with the smiling mother's extraordinary drive may diagnose her condition less as a gift of God than as a subconscious attempt at the most radical kind of humility: she punished herself with a crippling failure to counterbalance her great successes.
Come Be My Light is that rare thing, a posthumous autobiography that could cause a wholesale reconsideration of a major public figure — one way or another. It raises questions about God and faith, the engine behind great achievement, and the persistence of love, divine and human. That it does so not in any organized, intentional form but as a hodgepodge of desperate notes not intended for daylight should leave readers only more convinced that it is authentic — and that they are, somewhat shockingly, touching the true inner life of a modern saint.
Prequel: Near Ecstatic Communion
[Jesus:] Wilt thou refuse to do this for me? ... You have become my Spouse for my love — you have come to India for Me. The thirst you had for souls brought you so far — Are you afraid to take one more step for Your Spouse — for me — for souls? Is your generosity grown cold? Am I a second to you?[Teresa:] Jesus, my own Jesus — I am only Thine — I am so stupid — I do not know what to say but do with me whatever You wish — as You wish — as long as you wish. [But] why can't I be a perfect Loreto Nun — here — why can't I be like everybody else.[Jesus:] I want Indian Nuns, Missionaries of Charity, who would be my fire of love amongst the poor, the sick, the dying and the little children ... You are I know the most incapable person — weak and sinful but just because you are that — I want to use You for My glory. Wilt thou refuse?— in a prayer dialogue recounted to Archbishop Ferdinand Perier, January 1947
On Sept. 10, 1946, after 17 years as a teacher in Calcutta with the Loreto Sisters (an uncloistered, education-oriented community based in Ireland), Mother Mary Teresa, 36, took the 400-mile (645-km) train trip to Darjeeling. She had been working herself sick, and her superiors ordered her to relax during her annual retreat in the Himalayan foothills. On the ride out, she reported, Christ spoke to her. He called her to abandon teaching and work instead in "the slums" of the city, dealing directly with "the poorest of the poor" — the sick, the dying, beggars and street children. "Come, Come, carry Me into the holes of the poor," he told her. "Come be My light." The goal was to be both material and evangelistic — as Kolodiejchuk puts it, "to help them live their lives with dignity [and so] encounter God's infinite love, and having come to know Him, to love and serve Him in return."
It was wildly audacious — an unfunded, single-handed crusade (Teresa stipulated that she and her nuns would share their beneficiaries' poverty and started out alone) to provide individualized service to the poorest in a poor city made desperate by riots. The local Archbishop, Ferdinand Périer, was initially skeptical. But her letters to him, preserved, illustrate two linked characteristics — extreme tenacity and a profound personal bond to Christ. When Périer hesitated, Teresa, while calling herself a "little nothing," bombarded him with notes suggesting that he refer the question to an escalating list of authorities — the local apostolic delegation, her Mother General, the Pope. And when she felt all else had failed, she revealed the spiritual topper: a dramatic (melodramatic, really) dialogue with a "Voice" she eventually revealed to be Christ's. It ended with Jesus' emphatic reiteration of his call to her: "You are I know the most incapable person — weak and sinful but just because you are that — I want to use You for My glory. Wilt thou refuse?"
Mother Teresa had visions, including one of herself conversing with Christ on the Cross. Her confessor, Father Celeste Van Exem, was convinced that her mystical experiences were genuine. "[Her] union with Our Lord has been continual and so deep and violent that rapture does not seem very far," he commented. Teresa later wrote simply, "Jesus gave Himself to me."
Then on Jan. 6, 1948, Périer, after consulting the Vatican, finally gave permission for Teresa to embark on her second calling. And Jesus took himself away again.

The Onset

Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone ... Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?— addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated

In the first half of 1948, Teresa took a basic medical course before launching herself alone onto the streets of Calcutta. She wrote, "My soul at present is in perfect peace and joy." Kolodiejchuk includes her moving description of her first day on the job: "The old man lying on the street — not wanted — all alone just sick and dying — I gave him carborsone and water to drink and the old Man — was so strangely grateful ... Then we went to Taltala Bazaar, and there was a very poor woman dying I think of starvation more than TB ... I gave her something which will help her to sleep. — I wonder how long she will last." But two months later, shortly after her major triumph of locating a space for her headquarters, Kolodiejchuk's files find her troubled. "What tortures of loneliness," she wrote. "I wonder how long will my heart suffer this?" This complaint could be understood as an initial response to solitude and hardship were it not for subsequent letters. The more success Teresa had — and half a year later so many young women had joined her society that she needed to move again — the worse she felt. In March 1953, she wrote Périer, "Please pray specially for me that I may not spoil His work and that Our Lord may show Himself — for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. It has been like this more or less from the time I started 'the work.'"
Périer may have missed the note of desperation. "God guides you, dear Mother," he answered avuncularly. "You are not so much in the dark as you think ... You have exterior facts enough to see that God blesses your work ... Feelings are not required and often may be misleading." And yet feelings — or rather, their lack — became her life's secret torment. How can you assume the lover's ardor when he no longer grants you his voice, his touch, his very presence? The problem was exacerbated by an inhibition to even describe it. Teresa reported on several occasions inviting a confessor to visit and then being unable to speak. Eventually, one thought to ask her to write the problem down, and she complied. "The more I want him — the less I am wanted," she wrote Périer in 1955. A year later she sounded desolate: "Such deep longing for God — and ... repulsed — empty — no faith — no love — no zeal. — [The saving of] Souls holds no attraction — Heaven means nothing — pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything."
At the suggestion of a confessor, she wrote the agonized plea that begins this section, in which she explored the theological worst-possible-case implications of her dilemma. That letter and another one from 1959 ("What do I labour for? If there be no God — there can be no soul — if there is no Soul then Jesus — You also are not true") are the only two that sound any note of doubt of God's existence. But she frequently bemoaned an inability to pray: "I utter words of Community prayers — and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give — But my prayer of union is not there any longer — I no longer pray."
As the Missionaries of Charity flourished and gradually gained the attention of her church and the world at large, Teresa progressed from confessor to confessor the way some patients move through their psychoanalysts. Van Exem gave way to Périer, who gave way in 1959 to the Rev. (later Cardinal) Lawrence Picachy, who was succeeded by the Rev. Joseph Neuner in 1961. By the 1980s the chain included figures such as Bishop William Curlin of Charlotte, N.C. For these confessors, she developed a kind of shorthand of pain, referring almost casually to "my darkness" and to Jesus as "the Absent One." There was one respite. In October 1958, Pope Pius XII died, and requiem Masses were celebrated around the Catholic world. Teresa prayed to the deceased Pope for a "proof that God is pleased with the Society." And "then and there," she rejoiced, "disappeared the long darkness ... that strange suffering of 10 years." Unfortunately, five weeks later she reported being "in the tunnel" once more. And although, as we shall see, she found a way to accept the absence, it never lifted again. Five years after her Nobel, a Jesuit priest in the Calcutta province noted that "Mother came ... to speak about the excruciating night in her soul. It was not a passing phase but had gone on for years." A 1995 letter discussed her "spiritual dryness." She died in 1997.

Explanations

Tell me, Father, why is there so much pain and darkness in my soul?— to the Rev. Lawrence Picachy, August 1959

Why did Teresa's communication with Jesus, so vivid and nourishing in the months before the founding of the Missionaries, evaporate so suddenly? Interestingly, secular and religious explanations travel for a while on parallel tracks. Both understand (although only one celebrates) that identification with Christ's extended suffering on the Cross, undertaken to redeem humanity, is a key aspect of Catholic spirituality. Teresa told her nuns that physical poverty ensured empathy in "giving themselves" to the suffering poor and established a stronger bond with Christ's redemptive agony. She wrote in 1951 that the Passion was the only aspect of Jesus' life that she was interested in sharing: "I want to ... drink ONLY [her emphasis] from His chalice of pain." And so she did, although by all indications not in a way she had expected.
Kolodiejchuk finds divine purpose in the fact that Teresa's spiritual spigot went dry just as she prevailed over her church's perceived hesitations and saw a successful way to realize Jesus' call for her. "She was a very strong personality," he suggests. "And a strong personality needs stronger purification" as an antidote to pride. As proof that it worked, he cites her written comment after receiving an important prize in the Philippines in the 1960s: "This means nothing to me, because I don't have Him."
And yet "the question is, Who determined the abandonment she experienced?" says Dr. Richard Gottlieb, a teacher at the New York Psychoanalytic Society & Institute who has written about the church and who was provided a copy of the book by TIME. "Could she have imposed it on herself?" Psychologists have long recognized that people of a certain personality type are conflicted about their high achievement and find ways to punish themselves. Gottlieb notes that Teresa's ambitions for her ministry were tremendous. Both he and Kolodiejchuk are fascinated by her statement, "I want to love Jesus as he has never been loved before." Remarks the priest: "That's a kind of daring thing to say." Yet her letters are full of inner conflict about her accomplishments. Rather than simply giving all credit to God, Gottlieb observes, she agonizes incessantly that "any taking credit for her accomplishments — if only internally — is sinful" and hence, perhaps, requires a price to be paid. A mild secular analog, he says, might be an executive who commits a horrific social gaffe at the instant of a crucial promotion. For Teresa, "an occasion for a modicum of joy initiated a significant quantity of misery," and her subsequent successes led her to perpetuate it.
Gottlieb also suggests that starting her ministry "may have marked a turning point in her relationship with Jesus," whose urgent claims she was finally in a position to fulfill. Being the active party, he speculates, might have scared her, and in the end, the only way to accomplish great things might have been in the permanent and less risky role of the spurned yet faithful lover.
The atheist position is simpler. In 1948, Hitchens ventures, Teresa finally woke up, although she could not admit it. He likens her to die-hard Western communists late in the cold war: "There was a huge amount of cognitive dissonance," he says. "They thought, 'Jesus, the Soviet Union is a failure, [but] I'm not supposed to think that. It means my life is meaningless.' They carried on somehow, but the mainspring was gone. And I think once the mainspring is gone, it cannot be repaired." That, he says, was Teresa.
Most religious readers will reject that explanation, along with any that makes her the author of her own misery — or even defines it as true misery. Martin, responding to the torch-song image of Teresa, counterproposes her as the heroically constant spouse. "Let's say you're married and you fall in love and you believe with all your heart that marriage is a sacrament. And your wife, God forbid, gets a stroke and she's comatose. And you will never experience her love again. It's like loving and caring for a person for 50 years and once in a while you complain to your spiritual director, but you know on the deepest level that she loves you even though she's silent and that what you're doing makes sense. Mother Teresa knew that what she was doing made sense."

Integration

I can't express in words — the gratitude I owe you for your kindness to me — for the first time in ... years — I have come to love the darkness — for I believe now that it is part of a very, very small part of Jesus' darkness & pain on earth. You have taught me to accept it [as] a 'spiritual side of your work' as you wrote — Today really I felt a deep joy — that Jesus can't go anymore through the agony — but that He wants to go through it in me.— to Neuner, Circa 1961

There are two responses to trauma: to hold onto it in all its vividness and remain its captive, or without necessarily "conquering" it, to gradually integrate it into the day-by-day. After more than a decade of open-wound agony, Teresa seems to have begun regaining her spiritual equilibrium with the help of a particularly perceptive adviser. The Rev. Joseph Neuner, whom she met in the late 1950s and confided in somewhat later, was already a well-known theologian, and when she turned to him with her "darkness," he seems to have told her the three things she needed to hear: that there was no human remedy for it (that is, she should not feel responsible for affecting it); that feeling Jesus is not the only proof of his being there, and her very craving for God was a "sure sign" of his "hidden presence" in her life; and that the absence was in fact part of the "spiritual side" of her work for Jesus.
This counsel clearly granted Teresa a tremendous sense of release. For all that she had expected and even craved to share in Christ's Passion, she had not anticipated that she might recapitulate the particular moment on the Cross when he asks, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" The idea that rather than a nihilistic vacuum, his felt absence might be the ordeal she had prayed for, that her perseverance in its face might echo his faith unto death on the Cross, that it might indeed be a grace, enhancing the efficacy of her calling, made sense of her pain. Neuner would later write, "It was the redeeming experience of her life when she realized that the night of her heart was the special share she had in Jesus' passion." And she thanked Neuner profusely: "I can't express in words — the gratitude I owe you for your kindness to me — for the first time in ... years — I have come to love the darkness. "
Not that it didn't continue to torment her. Years later, describing the joy in Jesus experienced by some of her nuns, she observed dryly to Neuner, "I just have the joy of having nothing — not even the reality of the Presence of God [in the Eucharist]." She described her soul as like an "ice block." Yet she recognized Neuner's key distinction, writing, "I accept not in my feelings — but with my will, the Will of God — I accept His will." Although she still occasionally worried that she might "turn a Judas to Jesus in this painful darkness," with the passage of years the absence morphed from a potential wrecking ball into a kind of ragged cornerstone. Says Gottlieb, the psychoanalyst: "What is remarkable is that she integrated it in a way that enabled her to make it the organizing center of her personality, the beacon for her ongoing spiritual life." Certainly, she understood it as essential enough to project it into her afterlife. "If I ever become a Saint — I will surely be one of 'darkness.' I will continually be absent from Heaven — to [light] the light of those in darkness on earth," she wrote in 1962. Theologically, this is a bit odd since most orthodox Christianity defines heaven as God's eternal presence and doesn't really provide for regular no-shows at the heavenly feast. But it is, Kolodiejchuk suggests, her most moving statement, since the sacrifice involved is infinite. "When she wrote, 'I am willing to suffer ... for all eternity, if this [is] possible,'" he says, "I said, Wow."
He contends that the letters reveal her as holier than anyone knew. However formidable her efforts on Christ's behalf, it is even more astounding to realize that she achieved them when he was not available to her — a bit like a person who believes she can't walk winning the Olympic 100 meters. Kolodiejchuk goes even further. Catholic theologians recognize two types of "dark night": the first is purgative, cleansing the contemplative for a "final union" with Christ; the second is "reparative," and continues after such a union, so that he or she may participate in a state of purity even closer to that of Jesus and Mary, who suffered for human salvation despite being without sin. By the end, writes Kolodiejchuk, "by all indications this was the case with Mother Teresa." That puts her in rarefied company.

A New Ministry

If this brings You glory — if souls are brought to you — with joy I accept all to the end of my life.— to Jesus, undated

But for most people, Teresa's ranking among Catholic saints may be less important than a more general implication of Come Be My Light: that if she could carry on for a half-century without God in her head or heart, then perhaps people not quite as saintly can cope with less extreme versions of the same problem. One powerful instance of this may have occurred very early on. In 1968, British writer-turned-filmmaker Malcolm Muggeridge visited Teresa. Muggeridge had been an outspoken agnostic, but by the time he arrived with a film crew in Calcutta he was in full spiritual-search mode. Beyond impressing him with her work and her holiness, she wrote a letter to him in 1970 that addressed his doubts full-bore. "Your longing for God is so deep and yet He keeps Himself away from you," she wrote. "He must be forcing Himself to do so — because he loves you so much — the personal love Christ has for you is infinite — The Small difficulty you have re His Church is finite — Overcome the finite with the infinite." Muggeridge apparently did. He became an outspoken Christian apologist and converted to Catholicism in 1982. His 1969 film, Something Beautiful for God, supported by a 1971 book of the same title, made Teresa an international sensation.
At the time, Muggeridge was something of a unique case. A child of privilege who became a minor celebrity, he was hardly Teresa's target audience. Now, with the publication of Come Be My Light, we can all play Muggeridge. Kolodiejchuk thinks the book may act as an antidote to a cultural problem. "The tendency in our spiritual life but also in our more general attitude toward love is that our feelings are all that is going on," he says. "And so to us the totality of love is what we feel. But to really love someone requires commitment, fidelity and vulnerability. Mother Teresa wasn't 'feeling' Christ's love, and she could have shut down. But she was up at 4:30 every morning for Jesus, and still writing to him, 'Your happiness is all I want.' That's a powerful example even if you are not talking in exclusively religious terms."
America's Martin wants to talk precisely in religious terms. "Everything she's experiencing," he says, "is what average believers experience in their spiritual lives writ large. I have known scores of people who have felt abandoned by God and had doubts about God's existence. And this book expresses that in such a stunning way but shows her full of complete trust at the same time." He takes a breath. "Who would have thought that the person who was considered the most faithful woman in the world struggled like that with her faith?" he asks. "And who would have thought that the one thought to be the most ardent of believers could be a saint to the skeptics?" Martin has long used Teresa as an example to parishioners of self-emptying love. Now, he says, he will use her extraordinary faith in the face of overwhelming silence to illustrate how doubt is a natural part of everyone's life, be it an average believer's or a world-famous saint's.

Into the Light of Day

Please destroy any letters or anything I have written.— to Picachy, April 1959

Consistent with her ongoing fight against pride, Teresa's rationale for suppressing her personal correspondence was "I want the work to remain only His." If the letters became public, she explained to Picachy, "people will think more of me — less of Jesus."
The particularly holy are no less prone than the rest of us to misjudge the workings of history — or, if you will, of God's providence. Teresa considered the perceived absence of God in her life as her most shameful secret but eventually learned that it could be seen as a gift abetting her calling. If her worries about publicizing it also turn out to be misplaced — if a book of hasty, troubled notes turns out to ease the spiritual road of thousands of fellow believers, there would be no shame in having been wrong — but happily, even wonderfully wrong — twice.

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psychological counselling

2007-08-21T22:01:00.000+03:00

A good introduction to different types of psychotherapy is available at http://www.guidetopsychology.com/txtypes.htm#Psychodynamic

experimenting with plants

2007-06-27T13:19:00.000+03:00

Part of our mandate to rule over the earth is to explore, to care for and to propperly use G-d's creation.

Joy of Togetherness

2007-06-11T20:43:00.000+03:00

looking for joyous antecipation,
a feeling of love and longing to be together,
thoughts that we look forward to share with the others,
a feeling of home, a center of activity, where decisions are made, where creativity flows...

Material blessings

2007-06-10T09:59:00.000+03:00

The Thorah portion of last week was about the 12 spies being sent to explore the land. I'm still somehow like a spy. I'm determined to give a good report: The land is good. The Torah, given for the people to live in the land with G-d's blessing, is good. I'm ready to dwell in the land and become part of G-d's chosen people. So far I have not been able to live from the work of my hands in the land. I havn't conquered my own ground.

Following Yeshua means persecution in this world. Does that mean that I shouldn't expect to be able to conquere my own ground where I can prosper? Visible blessings used to be a testimony for G-d's presence with someone. (see Avraham etc.) Now, when the question is whether Yeshua is truly the Messiah and whether G-d is with us believers in Him, shouldn't G-d's visible blessings rest on us as a sign of His presence?

But, if we receive Yeshua, but reject Torah, G-d might not be able to bless us in wordly matters, at least when living in Israel. In worldly matters we might not be in a better standing than those that reject Yeshua, but receive Torah.

Common basis for working together

2007-06-09T21:05:00.000+03:00

Reading the Bible, relation to the land of Israel, relation to the people to whom the land is given as inheritance, relation to the intructions of how to live in the land, given to the people of Israel.

Critique of cultural habits

2007-06-03T22:56:00.000+03:00

Western individualism: What's the benefit of coming together if meeting together means only a gathering of individuals?

2007-06-03T09:57:00.000+03:00

How to relate to the political conflicts in the land?

Thoughts on Friendship

2007-05-18T05:19:00.000+03:00

Friends --- חברים, ידידים
חיבור - being attached, connected
ידידים - hand in hand
being a friend - having a friend

Avraham, a friend of G-d. He attached himself to G-d.

2007-05-18T04:59:00.000+03:00

Education, a natural sharing and passing on to the loved ones to prosper in this world and to fear and love G-d. Exploring the wonders of creation while worshiping the Creator.

Not to worry

2007-05-16T18:19:00.000+03:00

שלוחי המצווה אינם ניזוקים

2007-05-16T00:06:00.000+03:00

There is a certain deep joy in faithful quiet work.

Perspective and solid hope

2007-05-15T04:03:00.000+03:00

שוויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד

Broken things - broken relationships

2007-05-11T02:05:00.000+03:00

I like to fix broken things which are dear to people. I develop creativity in how to do it nicely and enjoy the work. Is there a similiar way to enjoy fixing broken relationships? The things broke by accident, but did the relationships break by accident?
People make mistakes, but they also have misguided motivations.
I get very frustrated when the communication doesn't work. Not always people want a healthy relation. The appropriate relationship might be to stop relating.

Living in community

2007-05-08T22:28:00.000+03:00

Something touched my heart today. May it grow and move my heart tomorrow! -- and from there my tongue, my hands and my feet!

Guardians of our lifes

2007-05-06T13:25:00.000+03:00

Way of recovery to be well:

Pure water for the system, regaining good health with exercises and relearning of propper functioning, taking care of regular food supply, knowing my purpose in life, sufficient rest on islands of peace, cultivating love of the Creator.

Regaining morning and evening

2007-05-04T17:52:00.000+03:00

I heard someone say: "The morning starts with the prior evening".

How would I love to be able to finish each days work in the evening, find rest and peace for the night and start the new day with the expectancy of something new, not being burdened and pushed into the new day by the unfinished tasks of yesterday.

Shabbat Shalom!

Enduring to listen

2007-05-04T03:38:00.000+03:00

What precious fellowship can compare with a time spent in communion with G-d?

Daily Vision

2007-05-02T17:18:00.000+03:00

וברוך שם כבודו לעולם ---- וימלא כבודו את כל הארץ ---- אמן ואמן